Saturday, the day of ???

Here I was, hoping for a nice relaxing, boring, homebound? day. After last week- and "good times" spent in the van- the hours and hours and HOURS spent. In. The. Van.
NOPE. No such luck.
List in hand, off to Home Depot. Again. On a Saturday. AARGHHHH!!! But I had a plan! :) Not too bad- had specific things to get, a strict list (with precise descriptions) and we got there early enough that it was an almost tolerable jaunt. We even stopped by Walmart. Again. On a Saturday. Evidentally, we won some sort of cosmic lottery, got in and out- in one piece.
I almost fell asleep waiting for Steven to come out and get his lunch- but other than that, haha, a nice morning. Came home, re-painted the bathroom (same color, 2nd coat) and an now kaput. I am so tired, I can't hardly keep my eyes open and my fingers moving.
I would still like to know when MOMS get a weekend!! Or a nap. A guilt free nap... Yeah!!
Totally a change of subject, but I just saw the weirdest thing. As I started to type out this whiney post... I spotted the twins off in the other living room. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see one of them log rolling back and forth across the floor. She'd bump into the wall and roll back the other way. Then her sister (aka The Other One) would run and do a fancy little leap thing over her, wait until she had bounced and started rolling back- and do her leap the other way. They were both DEAD serious about it, not smiles, like it was a matter of great importance. Is the roll strait? I must time the leap and hold my arm just right. They did this over and over and over. It was hypnotizing- in a weird sort of "what are they doing NOW- Twins are SO weird" sort of way.
I will never understand their secret little whispers, or the reason for the giggles they share... but I am so glad that they do. Always in Amazement! Weird, but worth it.

Crazy week

After I have the drivers seat and my arse surgically removed from one another, I will be able to sit and write about all my lovely adventures.

WASL.

All day in town.
WITH ALL THE KIDS.

My lack of budgeting skills.

Yummy (?) cheese tots at BK. haha.

So, after recovering from the seperation... I will be back with all the details. That is unless I die from fast food overload before then.

Happy Birthday

Billy is 13 today. It still doesn't seem real. Have I really been changing doapers for 13 years?!
He is turning into such a good guy. I can't believe something THAT good came from me. Yes, He's a dork. And a smart ass. I take credit for that :) but he is also incredibly kind, thoughtful, and protective (at times) of all of us.
He is an all around good guy. I am happy to know him. Enjoy spending time with him. And am PROUD AS HELL that I am his Mom.
Even if I am not old enough to have a teenaged son.

Wonder

Have you ever noticed that one person can change your day? Running into an old friend in town, or getting a "I'm glad you are here" hug can make a huge difference in a day. Or if someone is grumpy. Or indifferent. On Edge. Short. It changes the way everyone in the house acts. It takes over the day, and all activities, thoughts, movements are based on THAT particular aspect of life. If One person is gone from the group- the whole dynamic changes. If moms having a bad day- things are worlds different that if it's an OK one. I find it amazing that just one person can cause that much change. How do you use it, and make those situations positive? Happy? Involved? Carefree? Mellow? You can't 'make' someone change their mood, or their mind. If your heart is set on doing something, it sucks if it doesn't work out. That's life. Get over it and move to the next thing. It's not like we have the space/ means/ opportunity to do what we all want to, when and how we want to. But is it possible to NOT take it out on everyone else? Pick up someone elses mood, rather than spreading your bad one? With all the kids and personalities running around here- attitudes are bound to pop up. The rest of us are forced to deal with them. What else can we do? It would be nice if I could just disappear for a while. Let things blow over and rejoin when things are less frazzled, messed up, stressed out. I do tend to get sucked into a book, or in front of this screen when things are "off." I pull back. I get quiet, and controlling. EVERY little thing feels like it is my fault, at my expense. The eldest wants to play on the computer- and can't. I get to deal with the 'how comes' and the 'I'm bored now's.' Of course, if I had let him do what he wanted to, he would be happy now. I am a terrible mother. My daughter won't finish her homework. I am a mean mom. I want to actually be able to read and understand what she wrote down. Her life is horrible, she can't just sit and play all day. I have ruined her life. And I will hear about it. The twinnies are fighting. I step in and make them stop. Don't hit, kick, push. Don't take, tattle, whine. I am evil. I am not fair. They both cry. The boys are loud. They want to play and do like the bigger ones. They are too small. I am mean- and they will do it anyway. Hubby says the house is loud. And Messy. And I worked all day. Nobody will leave me alone. I just want a break. Me, I want to quit having everything be a battle. I want a break, space, quiet. I want people to talk TO me, WITH me. I want to sit and cuddle with my family. One at a time. Or as a big group. I want happy. Pleasant. Involved. Shared. What am I supposed to do? I can make no one happy. Let alone everyone at the same time. I don't have the option of shutting off, or moping around. I still have to be available, even (especially) when I don't feel like it. Because I am the mom. I get to run around and try and make things better. A little at least, but as much better as I can. It's exhausting. It is frustrating. It feels useless most of the time. It's not easy. It is very seldom easy.

Treading water~

Again, it's another of those days. I feel like I am back in the pool again. No matter how hard I swim, no matter what I do to try and stay afloat, I am still treading. Sometimes, there appears some sort of backward momentum, a current(?) but I have yet to comprehend WHY it would be there. It sucks. Take yesterday, just an example mind you... but a fairly accurate view of my day. My life. My world. Yesterday, I had a plan. I had my lists, condensed down to where they may actualy be of use. I had everything I needed, plus 7 kids and a raging headache. Both of which I could have seriously used a break from. I should mention the morning started out rough. But what morning doesn't?? Hubby didn't understand why the 2 year old was loud, demanding, whiney, obnoxious (ummmm... HE's TWO!!) and left for work thinking that I should have had the little tornado under control. Hahaha. NOT funny. After ALL of the children were washed, fed, dressed (yes, usually in that order) we loaded 'em up and headed 'em out. Had to run a few errands, and spend all of hubbys money. Not really. It just feels like that sometimes. It was still pretty early, so Target was our first destination. They had some clearance Easter stuff... so I shopped. It's not like I had a choice- it was 75% off. But then, a cart load later, we left for the YMCA. In hopes of getting summer camp stuff figured out, we went on the first day of sign ups. We got there an hour early. So we re-load and head to Home Depot. I know, I know. Nobody ever said I was brilliant. 7 kids. BIG store. Nice spring, SATURDAY. What the HELL was I thinking? I have no idea of the specifics of the thought...but damn it, I had a plan. I had lists. Mom on a mission- and we went. I figured at the very least it would eat up that hour. Boy Howdy. It was a mess. We wandered for a bit, pricing a few things for other plans..on other list.. to do on other days. We finally ended up in the paint area, and the place was a mad house. With the lines -not to mention the heards of screaming children that were forced to accompany their obnoxious (and mainly rude) parents- you would have thought that the employees might actually move. A little. Evidentally, I was again mistaken. The more people waiting for you, and the lounder (and rowdier) the people in your work area ARE... the slower and more inept you become. These people had to call and ask for help, for every tiny little thing. The customers, and even most of my children KNEW what to do. And they were SO SLOW. They would talk slow. Walk slow. Turn and give their disgrunteld looks... slow. Having a herd of kids, I seem to be pretty patient. I can understand busy. This, this was painful. And frustrating. Like having to wait for the cookies to finish baking, and then having all of them eatten before you get to have one. But then, at least, it smells nice. We did manage to get the paint, go to the grocery store (yes, I know it was Saturday... the kids finished all the milk, and I NEEDED a latte!), and forgot to go back to the Y. Got home JUST in time for the phone call- "You didn't bring me lunch?" Dammit. Looks like I blew it again. Overall, I did manage to remove the mirrors in the bathroom and feed the children, paint the bathroom and referee a lively game of "he did/ she did first!!", apply a second coat of paint and chase down the two year old with a loaded paintbrush. Managed to make- (and eat!!) dinner, supervise baths (so nobody would touch the walls!!) and basically survive the evening. Such are the days of my life. Instead of highs and lows, mine revolves around lows, lowers, "what the HEll's??" with a few patches of level living. There are a few sporatic (and never ever long enough) upward movement. I like the up ward movement. But if we are keeping score... On the down side- I had a 2 year olds morning, was way too early (and then forgot entirely) about the Y, had to go to Home Depot AND the grocery store on SATURDAY, forgot the lunch, ate too much dinner, and played second fiddle to a video game. On the plus side-I got the paint, and painted. I got the Y info, and some good deals on clearance. I actually ate dinner while it was warm. I TOOK a bath. I still have some brownies (Billy made for me!!) left. UPDATE: It looks like it will be a bit out of reach this year. It looks like the budgeting of Summer camp needs to start a whole lot earlier than I had thought. Score one for the down.

Beeee-otiful Day

Today was beautiful. A beautiful Thursday. So there wasn't much to do... with the twins in school- and Steven at work... EXCEPT to bring the glaring (and not so toned) nearly translucent- pale- even ghost like legs into the sunshine. After driving around all morning, running the never EVER ending errands- I needed, wanted, deserved, DEMANDED a break. I know- the HORROR of it all. Soon after returning home, I planted my ample back side on a blanket in the grass. The iced coffee (why yes, I live in Washington- how'd you know??) trashy novel, and cell phone- came too. Ohhhh and it was GOOD!

Being the "good Mom" that I occasionally attempt to be,- or the meanest mom on the planet if you ask my children- I invited (forced) the children at home, to join me for some fresh air and sunshine. Like it or not. Dammit. Some liked it more than others. A lot more.

Baby face came out to jump in the jumper (in the shade) that Steven hooked up on the patio. What a good Daddy!! MacKenzie still had homework, so she got to (had to?) do it in the natural sunlight. Tommy and JJ, wanted to ride their bikes, on me- but finally decided the drive way was safer. For them. Billy, having his school work finished... NATURALLY was upset at the idea of HAVING to spend the afternoon without TV, the computer, OR video games. The outrage of a near teen!!
He survived.
Barely.
The MP3 player saved him from mortal boredom.

The plan was to expose my lower extremities (aka bake my poor drum sticks, which is exactly how they feel at this moment) until the twinnies bus dropped them off. Ohhh the book was good. And the kids, God love 'em- actually let me read. For more than 5 minutes. Nearly uninterrupted!! Small miracles Baby, I'll take 'em!! But all good things come with a price.

Well, because I am a good, yet flabby, Momma...the kids enjoy it, AND it tuckers the shortest ones out...we went for our afternoon walk. Things were good- the sun was still shining, birds singing, sunburn NOT burning... we were merrily on our way. HAHAHA... Coming home, THAT was a different story. The clouds rolled in, the wind picked up (just a wee bit) and the sky went dark. There may have been sprinkles... but not the good kind. Those are saved for cupcakes. Ummmm. No wonder I need to walk!
But back to the story, while the rest of the Duckies started commenting (whining) about how it was getting cold, MY THIGHS WERE ON FIRE!.
And not the good kind there, either!!-
Ouch! That's what I get for bringing the poor things out in the daylight. I should have just let them continue their vampire like habit of staying under cover in the sun. Shorts should be outlawed. At least slap a warning on them!

"Use with pasty white girl legs is hazardous to your health... and may lead uncomfortable sunburns. Dummy!!!"

Oh well, putting on the "mom jeans" won't be nearly as much fun as usual in the morning. Not only are they HIGHLY unattractive in the first place, I will also have the benefit of being HIGHLY UNCOMFORTABLE as well..... BUT the book and the coffee were good :)

But its WEDNESDAY!!

Why am I still stuck with the Monday feeling? It's not like anything tragic happened, or even anything noteworthy...just Blahhhhh. Well, I DID send the twins to the bus stop 2 hours early... but who can remember EVERYTHING?? Back to boring ole life I guess. The bus stop thing is somewhat typical, so it doesn't count as anything noteworthy. I am beginning to think that last week was really just some big cosmic practical joke. "hey, look how great, fantastic, wonderful, fun, ENJOYABLE life can be. See- I'll even give you a few days of great weather to go along with it. Like it? You DO?? Good- hahaha" and it's over. Kaput. No more fun for you. Back to real life. Ehhhh. What a let down! I wanna wear nice clothes! Have a nice, relaxing dinner with my hubby. Have gifts and praise lavished upon me- Hell yeah! Sign me up for a life time subscription! Beautiful weather, well behaved kids... family activities that don't self destruct, and a vehicle that causes no worries. Yup. Heaven- But NOOOOOOOOooooo- I get the budget version. Stretchy pants or Mom jeans, (SO attractive!) and dinner is usually whatever is left over on the kids' plates after spending WAY too much time figuring out what to make, making it, and hearing about how how oooky it is. ALL gifts, by LAW, must be presented in the proper manner AND be the correct make/ model/ version/ color/ size... who said it was the thought that counts? And if there is a problem, and issue, an unhappiness, it must be rectified IMMEDIATELY. ---- Right here, buddy. My bad.-----I'll get right on that, when I get a free second. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHA! Crappy (windy, cold and grey) weather, picky-picky children who think THEY have the deciding voice for all things- especially when it comes to what they should be allowed to do (eat candy for breakfast...watch TV with the volume maxed out for example.) They also have very strong views on what they SHOULD NOT EVER have to even consider doing. Like chores. Homework. Brushing their hair. Eating dinner with utensils. Going to bed.-------- Any who, really, I shouldn't complain. I still have (most) of my hair. And it's not all grey. Yet. I do get my 30 seconds of decompression time- if I run fast enough to the bathroom to lock the door- before the pounding "mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaa" starts and the wee fingers start waving at me from under the door. I do have a hubby that comes home, daily... and actually lets (tolerates) me warming my ice-toes on his legs at night. I have a vehicle, that we all fit into, that drives...smokes, back fires etc... but it does get us where we need to get to. As long as I can afford the gas to get us there! I shouldn't complain. But I do- because when you have IT perfect, like last week was perfect... the rest seems crappy by comparison. Even if it is good, or mostly good. Or just not horrible and disastrous...you always remember how good it was, and keep hoping it will be that nice again. NOW. Heck, I'd even go for a good hair hour...really, I am not picky- and good refers to anything that doesn't generate screams and looks of horror from the general populace. Just a little bit of sunshine to sparkle up my grey and moody Wednesday. Anything. Maybe someone will make me brownies :)