arghhh!

It is completely depressing, frustrating, crushing- to know you want something, and it isn't going to happen. Nope.

I can't just "work harder" or longer, or do something differently. I hate not having a say, a bit (at least) of control- it SUCKS.

And it's a me thing. It's just something- eventually completely selfish, and stupid on my part- but still.

Arghhhhhh!