This blog started out as a place to vent, whine, groan, shout, vent my frustrations... and cheer my minor little victories.
Lately (for a while?) it has almost been more and more of an effort to find the time to sit and ponder. Lazy? Probably. Tired? Definitely.
Yes, it does feel better to let things out than to keep them bottled in- but still. I could say "Oh~ I have so many things going on, and am so busy..." I can make up a thousand excuses, but excuses are all that they would be. Lame.
I would be willing to venture a guess, that if I felt like I was doing something. anything. I might have more motivation to sit and share it all with you all.
But I'm not. And I don't.
It sucks to feel let down. And it sucks even worse when I'm the one I am disappointed in. And worse yet, is that I will hear "oh, you are doing fine," and "things are going to get easier."
Ummm, not getting that impression.
I have changed my schedule, the kids' schedules, am back in classes. I really really tried to change things so that life would be "better?" I just wanted to be able to breathe...
The only real difference I have seen is that I do A LOT more laundry, have my own homework, and have to get the kids up 3 hours earlier than I would like to.
Same BoolSheet, tighter schedule. Still stressed, frazzled, and tired.
Just wondering when the kids will "get it," and when my choices / decisions feel like I made good ones. Right ones.
Give it time.