Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I know I KNOW!!

It is already November. NOVEMBER people!!

I can't believe it- I have no idea where the time has gone. Other than obnoxious amounts of homework, and 6 "professional quality" papers I have been beating my head against. Seriously- if I had had the notion that I would have to write +30 page paperS (MORE THAN ONE) I would have reconsidered my choice of profession.

"What the hell was I thinking??" has become the mantra.

Ha ha- you would have thought with 7 kids, that would have been the motto LONG ago!!- No one ever said I was quick!!

Aside from going bat-sh** crazy, whats been going on out there in Blog Land? I feel completely out of the loop, I am gossip-less, out of touch, and stressed out. I can occasionally remember what day it is- and was doing ok with the time until the time change.

Being in school full time has changed things around here. My attention span is non-existent. The house is a mess (but thats pretty typical), Hamburger Helper has been sustaining life- (which drives me nuts, but the kids will actually eat it- and its fast- and they EAT it.) I have also realized that I am more (spazzy) scattered, distracted, blonde... now what was I saying ??? :)

I have transformed into a hypochondriac- all the weird disease, syndromes, or conditions... I have them. I swear I do.

The kids have all been pretty healthy- and ornery. Halloween was a blur- I will try and get pictures posted, but wont make any promises. There were witches, mad scientists (mad because he wanted to be a vampire, but couldn't pull a costume together- so he got what he got). We had a dragon (with garlic breath) and 3 buzzing bees. I never would have thought about being a Bee for Halloween, but evidently its pretty popular. Going on 3 years at our house- but I have weird kids. YEA!! I DID post something!!!

Thanksgiving is coming up fast- Mom in Law is going to come up!!That will be nice, we don't get to see her very often. The bad thing about turkey day is that Christmas follows WAY too fast after that.

I cant hardly comprehend that Halloween is over- where did summer go?! And I have not a clue about Christmas- way to much to do and never enough time to do it in.

If this nursing thing doesn't work out, I will have to really look into the caffeine IV, and cloning. 2 very good ideas that are discussed A LOT in nursing school!!

Speaking of caffeine, mine is starting to wear off and the lecture lady is about ready to start up again... I will try to get back here more often. Its nice to (pretend) to talk to grownups out there :)

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Yes, its me. Is it you?

So I've been gone awhile. What- did you miss my whining or something?!

I have been trying to survive. School, kids, Kids'school, life in general. It has been a struggle. A lot harder than I thought, or expected, in ways I never thought of. There are so many "coping" type statements we keep telling ourselves, trying to trick us into thinking we have a chance at doing this.

Its a PROFESSIONAL program, not a college course. If it were easy EVERYONE would do this. Fake it till you make it. Sleep is for the weak. Coffee is for the exhausted. Sign me up for both.

My current favorite is "you may feel like you are just treading water..."

People usually just kinda stopp talking there, because treading is all we seem to do.

At least I have experience in that department.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

JJ attacks!

The LCOP (Loudest Child On the Planet) has finally begun his formal education.

I warned his teacher... she still didn't have a clue! Seriously, the boy doesn't stop talking. He is loud. Has very firm opinions... and isn't afraid to let you know about them. AND he spent 30 minutes fixing his hair with "here geeel" so he could be handsome with his hair that was both spiked AND mohawked.

Dude was COOL!!!

Way to go Bub... proud of you!!

Family Fun

I have been so busy lately I have forgotten a lot of things. Gas, groceries, to eat... I have also had a few near misses. I DID remember to put on pants, the Twinners birthday, and to make the family reunion.
It was so great to see a lot of my cousins again, I have been really really out of touch- and that bothers me. Family is important, and I really should make more of an effort.
Yep, another work in progress... and I will attempt to get at least a photo up, there were short people and flying food EVERYwhere... good times, good times!!
I enjoyed it, and next year I will try to come a little better rested. I hear CornBall is fantastic!!

The terrible 2's

Why YES, the twinners had a birthday~ thanks for (reminding me) remembering!

They got flowers and balloons from Daddy-O, sent to their classes even!! They got a big pink birthday cake, and got to ride the bus to Grandmas for dinner.

They were spoiled by lavish displays of gifts, bling, stationary, cards, cash, and NEW SHOES!!!!

They said to make sure I wrote about the SHOES. Its all about the SHOES!!!!

I would post photos here, but that would have meant I had to remember to charge the camera, bring the camera, and USE the camera. 3 step process for a currently one step existence... Grandma saved the day :) I'll have to get copies from her~

But it was nice, and good, and they haven't lost or destroyed anything yet... so the birthday was a good one. Happy 9 my ladies~ I am scattered, but I still love ya the mostest!!

I... I will survive. Maybe.

Hello. My name is Amy. I am a student.

I have always heard that the first step towards recovery is to admit to having a problem.

And Boy Howdy... do I~

School is hard. But really its NOT school (so we have been told) its a "Professional Program. " Which I have come to realize means, more work, more expected... like giving up your life, not remembering to eat... forgetting what your kids look like. Running out of gas because you are too busy to remember to fill up the tank, not to mention having tuition costs (as well as NON tuition but still education related expenses) that keep you from ever wanting to look at your bank account - ever again. No sleep, full on stress about whats going on tomorrow (you can't begin to wrap your over worked mind about anything past tomorrow!) Never being able to "turn your brain off" and second guessing EVERY little tiny thing you do. Is this thinking critically? Did I remember all the steps? Remembering that taking someones vitals DOES NOT counting YOUR pulse rate when you are trying to check someone elses.

I tend to multi task and have the distant pleasure of typically counting BOTH the victim (I meant patient!!! PATIENT!) and my own. Mine is fine in practice, but get an instructor there to check me off- MY half of my the double pulse is usually higher :)

Honestly, I am not a completely inept air head, I just have senior moments "RELATED TO" increased stress, and lack of sleep. Food. sanity.

Exhausted, doesn't begin to cover it. The stress of the "unknown" isn't helping. Doing this mom thing on my own while Daddy-o is off workin' is definitely taking its toll on me. I am here physically, with them... but that is usually the time they are supposed to be sleeping. Heck, they don't even remember what dinner is SUPPOSED to be like, and have starting asking "which box is for dinner" rather than an actual food. And Pizza Hut and I are starting an affair- They deliver. Not that I have "forgotten" that the fridge is empty, or that I ate the last frozen chunk of Totinos in a middle of the night study/ scarf fest....

Is it NORMAL (YES, I know that normal is relative to the baseline...) to forget to eat? Not sleep because you have WAC and RCW statues running through your mind? Or waking up, after drooling all over your lap top... to realize that you have been trying to figure out a nursing diagnosis for Sponge Bobs case if The Suds?!

I tell ya, if they still had a bar across the campus, it would have nursing students living there.

But, scary as it seems, there are moments where I feel like I can actually pull this off. Maybe. There are seconds where this feels like I have been waiting my whole life to feel like I was actually going to be doing something that other people valued, and respected. That when I get old and have to fill out admit paperwork...I will have something to write into the box of "what was your greatest accomplishment." I just want to matter, make a difference... and this feels like the right path. Like this is what I have been supposed to do, and I just figured that out.

I get the bad, the hard, the mind numbing-ness of this program, and as hard as it is (and damn skippy I will be complaining) but the brief flashes of AHHhhh YEA! are amazing. Not quite as invigorating, energizing, or often as I would like...yet... they still show enough glimmer, to tease me just enough, to keep it up.

As long as I can keep my eyes open anyway!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008


Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -Bernice Johnson Reagon

I don't men to get all philosophic on ya, but paralyzed is about the best way to describe my mindset lately.

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. -Joshua J. Marine

IT has been bumpy around here folks, I can't say that it hasn't been challenging. Mind breakingly, freakishly, overwhelmingly difficult. And it doesn't look to be getting any easier anytime soon.

So in attempt to remind myself to breathe... I need to remember that...

When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?" - Sydney J. Harris


Saturday, August 30, 2008


School is BIG. Its big no matter if you are in 1st grade, or 3rd grade, or 8th grade. Its BIGGGGG when you are in college too.

Scary big. Sit in the corner and rock yourself BIG. 1 week into classes, 2 weeks into the single parent (while daddy-o is working out of town) thing, 3 days from the monkees ALL going back to school... BBBBIIIIGGGGGGGGG.

And I think I am stuck. There is so much I wanted to do, but didn't. So much I would rather be doing, but can't. Supplies for school I should have bought, but ran out of time. The huge stack of text books staring me down- I should studying, but its like I am frozen.

With all there is to do I can't seem to find a place to start. Its overwhelming to the point where I just want to sit and cry... I keep waiting for someone to tell me that I really shouldn't be here... that they made a mistake... Oh so sorry!!

But until they realize their mistake, I have to figure out how to keep from sinking.

One of the instructors was talking today about how the first few weeks were rough... then things would start to gel, and come together. She said until then we all had to just tread water enough to keep our heads up until then.

She must not realize how long some of us have been treading water for already.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Back in the grind~

First day of my classes- the kids are still running wild for another week. I don't know why, but I seem to be a lot more excited about them going back to school than they are :)

But until then, the chaos level around here just keeps getting higher and higher...

At least it never gets boring!!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Wednesday, Thursday, Happy day...

I have completed the first 2 days of Nursing Orientation. It was long. It was scary. I feel SO intimidated... but I made it here- so I must have been doing something right.

I'm starting to think I might actually be able to do this thing. Maybe. The instructors seem amazing, and the rest of my class are even more than amazing. I get to go through all this with people that I know and know I can count on- and I am starting to lose the anxious, and gain the excited.

Sleep deprivation, and fast food meals- here I come!!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Now THATS a birthday

As previously mentioned, Birthdays and I don't get along too well. In fact the only good thing EVAH to come 'round my dreaded B-day is...

Yet another birthday.

THIS birthday is much better- much more worth celebrating. And this was a good one!

Little Miss Clara turned 2 today- and was spoiled rotten- as it should be. Gifts and cupcakes and balloons and new dresses- the little girly girl had a great day. And her good day, pretty much wipes my not so good one away.

Thanks Claire~ you always find a way make momma smile :)

breathe out...pause....deep breath

Looks like I am jumping back into the fray.

In the past week I have ... had to say good bye. I met new people, and got to visit with an old friend. I had great phone calls, and tearful emails. I dealt with what I had to, survived what I thought would be unbearable, and am still here to tell the tale. I was scared, anxious, lonesome, and sad. I was brave, and in the moment, supported and true.

I got to go out, had the chance to stay in. I laughed, and I cried. I (hopefully) showed my kids how to be stronger than you think you can be. I was supported and supporting, and showed them that I will always be there for them. No matter what, no matter when, no matter why.

Last week I Lived.

It was hard. It was bumpy, but I kept it together and kept my head above water. For the most part- and that's what counts. THIS week looks terrifying, and exciting all mixed together...that's how this week begins.


Take a deep breath.

I'm headed back in...

diving back in for more...

Oh- another fun filled and exciting Birthday survived. Man, I hate those things. If I could wipe this date out of existence- I don't think I could find the words to adequately describe the happiness that would bring me.

THAT date tend to draw "bad things" in like a toilet drain. Everything gets twisted around, and it goes down hill from there. And none of it is any good.

Honestly, THAT date literally makes me ill. There have been MANY cancelled parties, trips to the circus...and other activities... due to my many birthdays as well as my tendency to blow chunks before the festivities.

I know. You wish you were me.

To add to this wonderful pattern of disasters, sprinkle in (more than a couple) of forgotten ones. Mis-remembered ones... and a tip to all you hubbies out there- DON'T EVER argue with your wife on when her birthday is. She knows when it is. Honest.

I have had a few birthdays that came with life altering news... and that's always a nice added stressor. Come ON!! Getting old... (older) is traumatic enough- don't you agree? Knowing that it comes hand in hand with some always unexpected twist- that is completely and totally predictable in its uniqueness~ it about sucks the life out of you!

And I hate those surprises.

But somehow- I manage to survive. Survived another one- and hope next years will be better. What ELSE could happen? I really REALLY don't want to know~

Thursday, August 14, 2008

O- I- Wish...

I have no idea WHAT I'd wish for. A nap sounds good. So do brownies. Ummmm brownies!!!

SO much is going on in the next few weeks, I am sure my brain will stop spinning sometime. Maybe.

I keep waiting for the monkees to do something annoying, or dorky, or really cute- so I have something to write about, but no luck so far. Too wrapped up in my own boring drama... And I'd really rather not be.

In order to break up the fun and excitement of my own personal anxiety... we have been moving furniture. And cleaning. And more cleaning. I know- unbelievably high levels of excitement.

So I am waiting for something. Everything. For the beginning. for the end-

Saturday, August 9, 2008


The more things change the more they stay the same. Once I think I have things under control and planned and figured out, and I am getting used to or comfortable- Whamo.

Big changes are a brewin' and I am just trying to remind myself to remember to breathe.

In... Out... In

And know I will survive this.

I hope

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Shots are on me

Yup it's THAT time again. Took all my July Babies in for their immunizations... I realized I have had more children born in the month of July than most families have kids. Period.

I love my monkee herd, I really do!

Any who- we did the group thing where the Doc loads us all up in one room and thus contains us while the paper work is organized. We discussed errant goat head injuries. We discussed Wasp issues. We talked about little boys with "Al Bundy" issues.

It went surprisingly well. One follow up appointment with an eye doctor, a new eczema prescription, 9 booster shots (with NO tears) AND a crash course in how to use a bee sting kit.

Because of his apparent skill in locating, enticing and some how annoying the scary wasp factions of country living... T has developed an allergy to the little beasties. Enough so that the Doc thinks we should carry around a kit, just in case. He's not to the point of "get stung- quit breathing" but I'd feel a lot better to have it and never ever EVAH need to use it, than to need it and not have it available.

Sigh. So the kids are healthy, ornery, and otherwise perfectly near normal in nearly every way, nothing like a little extra "sumthin' somethin" to make a day memorable.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Its a good thing~

In the last 48 hours we have dealt with- > a fall, including scrapes on the face > someone stepped on a nail > multiple wasp stings to the eye area > freaking out because the area swelled up and it was cool when he thought he had new ninja powers, but not so cool when he couldn't see. > pink eye > bike incident on gravel causing road rash > a stubbed toe > ingrown toe nail > AND an infected knee with the thorn STILL IN THERE... but didn't say anything about it until she couldn't walk on it.

It's probably a good thing I'm in nursing school, huh.

Friday, August 1, 2008

just another day

Every day around here is an adventure. We run the gamit on emotions, frustrations, joy, and pain. Somedays are rough, other days are rougher. All the "surprises" and unexpected... everythings sure can pile up. And in a hurry. Nothing is gradual around here~

A body'd think you would get used to it, find other ways to deal with it. No big deal... this happens, not all the time but it has happened before and will happen again. Calm and relaxed...

In my dreams maybe! Emotion, and reactions aren't logical. Aren't predictable. Are completely unreliable. And so are people. You revert back to what works.

And when things pile up, and its a lot to handle- like when the kids are sick, or tired, or bored- are injured, or could be hurt- I launch right into defense mode. It's not always pretty thing, but it seems to be what works. Throw up the defenses and prepare for the on slaught.

Even when I know I shouldn't be mad, (most of the time its just sad. And frustrating) but it can still get a rise out of me... No matter how much I wish it wouldn't.

I can feel myself heading that way. I don't necessarily like it, but thats what I do, thats what works. We survive... and thats what matters, right?

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Tuesday...breath...Its only Tuesday.

Anxiety- the fuel of life.

I went into town this morning, for an immunization I needed updated for school, and went ALL. ALONE. For the first time in over 6 weeks, I spent 37 minutes kid free.

Weird I tell ya, but much needed. I got to see a friend, pay to be poked, and breath.

Now back to the anxiety of life- If it weren't for the stress of "ITS coming!" "What's going to happen" "Can I really get through this" "What did I sign up for" WHY?!?!?!" ...

I would have a peaceful paradise of a life. I could do what I wanted, when I wanted, and not have to worry. About a thing. But then again I would probably not have the motivation to da anything at all- and be bored and whine about that. So I guess a little anxiety is a good motivatior- putting a little extra "git" in the ole git-a-long, just to provide the necessary spark to get through another day. But there is a tolerance level, just enough to get me off of my tookus- and not so much that I want to sit in a dark corner rocking and drooling on my shirt. Currently I find myself leaning towards the corner a little more than I would like to admit.

But here is a terrible thought, maybe I am so used to the high anxiety levels that it now takes a semi truckful just to register on the radar. And by the time it does register... Oh boy!

Depressing, much.

But today, I had a breath. And it was good. And the world didn't crash in on itself. Now I just need to figure out how to breathe on a regular basis. That would be good.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Random Acts os Summer

Here are random shots of our July- no rhyme or reason. Just like us.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Why, YES

I am a slacker. Thanks for asking.

In the midst of a small anxiety fit here...I have so much I should be doing I seem to be inexplicitly immobile. The overactive brain matter is on warp speed, the body... stuck in reverse.

I place the blame on life. Marriage. Kids. Grocery lists. Gas prices. School supply shopping. Housework. Yard work. Upcoming homework. The possibility I will have to do something, freak out about what will be involved with said something, what can go wrong... how to prepare for it... and then it never happening.

Pretty much anything having to do with responsibility or growing up, 'cause you KNOW the two aren't always meaning the same thing.

I think I am tired. Not quite sure, but I think that may be the issue. My brain is definitely smoking like my vacuum cleaner with the constantly clogged tube. WAY too much bouncing around in there, it's hard to sort it out. Break it down into little bite sized pieces.

I wonder if it's possible to choke on it?

But see- THAT is how my brain is- totally off on 300 tangents, and I can't get a coherent thought out, let alone formulate a rational plan to get it off my mind. Hurry up... and wait. But firsts... catch 22's... UGH.

Any clues how to find life's "pause button?" With my luck I would end up in an I Love Lucy re-run... instead of pausing I would end up making the conveyor belt run faster (and run out of places to stash the chocolate.)

Once again, treading the water.

Between insurance phone calls, calls to the school, appointments, upcoming visits, plans, revised plans... Billy is out of town, Speech therapy is cancelled, the summer school schedule, trying to figure out the dogs glitch, bubbles, frustrations, dishes, diapers, attitudes, headaches and bad hair days... I am about fried.



Met an older lady at the post office today, she asked a question and then proceeded to apologize telling me that she was just having a Monday. I told her she wasn't alone.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Sugar Rush

Wow- we lived through the July birthdaze BBQ... I have had so much sugar I can hardly breathe. I can't begin to fathom how much the kids have ingested.

Be back when the buzz wears down~ pictures soon!!

Friday, July 18, 2008

ummm- Yeah. THAT worked.

SO much for my big plans and my 3.75 seconds of motivation and ambition.

Kids : 7968522258

Mom: 1 or 2.


Thursday, July 17, 2008

kiddie pool maintenence

Here in the Kiddie Pool, the water is getting a bit cloudy. As in the kids have trashed the house, and I am too freakin tired to keep up- and clean up after them all day long. Since ALL the little monkees are here at home. With me. Whining about the state of boredom...Momma has a plan. With a supply of Momma Juice (defined as anything the kids aren't allowed to drink, usually contains at least a little alcohol... sometimes more than others) in the fridge and a house that looks like a disaster zone, the monkees will be bored no more. And knowing I have the Juice to fall back on after my long day of AAARGHHHHHH! I think I can survive. Possibly. In all likely hood, it will still be sitting there a month from now... I tend to use its presence to give me courage :) The whines have been updated to ones listing my meanie-ness. They are already, as a group, decided I am the meanest mom EVER- a title I take from my own mother of course ---Thanks mom!!! I couldn't have done it without your example... --- Right at this very moment they, my adoring children, are debating (loudly) the REASONS why I am so mean. Which is more important? The fact that I won't let them have cheese cake for their 4th breakfast of the day... or that I SMILED when I said, I didn't want hear about it (anything) until their rooms are clean. JJ even thinks that I am a meeeeener 'cause. Just 'Cause. I get the "kid logic" about how "it's not fair" and "Why do I have to" and "I didn't do it!!" or "I ALWAYS have to..." So yes, team- we shall not be bored. Busy, whining, complaining- sure! Bored? Nope. The house shall be scrubbed, and naps will be taken, and moms sanity will remain on the single (last) nerve available. I can keep them busy enough to tire them out, right? YES. I. CAN. My only concern is that they might outlast me~

Saturday, July 12, 2008


One of my biggest pet peeves is people that are so wrapped up in themselves, that they have no idea (or care) about anything outside of their little "bubble" of reality. I've met my share of Bubbles, and nothing is quite as frustrating or head shaking as a full on Bubble in action.

There are the Bubbles that talk constantly about ONE subject- non-stop. No matter what is being discussed, or what the situation is... EVERYTHING comes back to that persons "issue." The weather, the news, the bad service at the resturant, the rotation of the all dramatically affected (up for discussion) because of the hyper-focus. They ask questions about their topic of choice, just because nobody had mentioned it in the past minute or so.

There are Bubbles that think They are the all important center of the Universe. Everything that happens is a direct result of THEM being here, and everything that doesn't exactly go their way, is a direct insult (attack) on them. If they are busy- thats all there is, they are busy. The end. If anyone else ventures to have a life, or not be at their own personal beck and call... WOW- thats just unacceptable. Let the fireworks begin!!

There are Bubbles that think only of themselves. With this variety, you can have a complete conversation and the only part that "sticks" is the part about them. IF it is something they happen to be interested in at that precise moment. Everything else just bounces off the bubble, and is lost. " You never told me that!" and "Oh. Well, I didn't know~" All that seems to matter is how "whatever" will effect them, right now. Everything else really doesn't matter. Its all about the Now.

I'm sure everyone has Bubble moments- where you get wrapped up in yourself, FOR A TIME. Get over yourself and move on a little, would ya!? Once in a while at least. Honestly, there is more to daily life that ONE subject. ONE topic. ONE person.

Breathe people, the world can't revolve around ALL of you.

Around here, there are lots of little bubble head wanna be's... not to mention the full on Bubble Heads, and its SO frustrating! The little ones, you can send to their rooms- the Big ones... what can you do but shake you head, take a deep breath, and wait for the bubble to pop. Just so you can get a word in, be heard, or just to change the subject for a second.

It seems to me that the world should be made up of more interaction and compromise and courtesy - than of independent orbits. But then again, I'm a mom... I don't have time to create my own real bubble.

I just blog.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Messing with the Mojo

Wow, long ago I used to really love 3 day weekends. But that was WAY before kids...

Now the 2 "off " days are about the limit of what I can handle while retaining the slightest inkling of my supposed sanity. I tend to take up those 2 days by holding my breath, letting things slide, dealing with a new set of rules, expectations, and behaviors... counting down till The Schedule can be reinstated.

I'm a loser. I know.

But I like the schedule. The organization. The conformity. Most of the time!

I have a morning routine, a way I take care of lunches. The kids and their chores , I deal with them in my own way- on my time frame. When Daddy-o gets home we have things pretty much set too. When dinner is, and the baths and all the stuff that needs to be done. It gets done. It may not (highly unlikely to be) perfect, but it's what I do. And I like that I have a flow to it.

Throw a 3 day weekend on me, and I stall out. I don't know, I just fall back and feel like I am on damage control. The usual weekend schedule doesn't work, the running I do on Mondays- is pushed back until later. Which changes the flow for the whole week. I should hang out with the hubby, because he's home... but I have Stuff To Do...I feel bad about doing it, I feel bad if I don't do it.

He thinks I sit around and eat bonbons watching soaps on TV anyway... but I do actually accomplish! things! Just because they are the Behind the Scene type things, they don't seem to count as much as if I had just completed a barn raising or something. It's not that I am bringing in a paycheck... but having dinner served to you, clean laundry waiting for you, and an ample supply of TP at the ready SHOULD count for something, right?

Since Independence Day (mom defination: STILL not a day off for mom) was on a Friday this year, we had a long weekend. Which is ok, if you have plans, friends, or something to do... but we didn't. It was just another day around here.

So, I lost my groove. Worrying about the little things (like when I can reschedule the Bonbon fest) and if I am being un-social by doing my things, or grumpy because I am not doing them... The groove was sacrificed.

And losing the groove- is a hard thing to do.

Disturbance in the force~

Something is off. Can't put my finger on it.

But the result is the same. People 'round here are grumpy, and short. I mean we are short most of the time anyway- and grumpy happens... but it's just tweaked a bit more than normal.

I don't know it it's the weather, or if the moon is in the opposing quadrant, or if the last red Popsicle was broken ... but what ever it is I hope it corrects its self. IN. A. HURRY.

We all survived the 4th- no body is missing a finger or has singed eyebrows. Partially because we live in a crappy time where we are shut out of a lot of the things we used to take for granted. No fireworks this year. Again. The land of the Free... with a bunch of restrictions.

ITS JUST A SPARKLER, for goodness sake!

That might be part of MY personal grumpy....

We got a LOVERLY new couch- and have spent a lot of time curled up on there with books, in front of the fans... most of us fit on it ALL at the same time even!! Still sorting out WHO has the best spot, and arguing about who stole whoms' place, and the legal wranglings of Dibs, and I Called It.

That could explain even more of the grumpies.

The Birthdays are coming up... maybe I am confusing anxiety with grumpy. I don't know but it is sucking the ever loving life out of me. Seriously, how long am I supposed to be on "cheer everyone else up" mode before I decide to bag it and pull out the industrial sized roll of duct tape?!

And then there is this. I just realized that we have been here, in this house, for 4 years now. I think that is the longest time any of us has ever lived in any one place... other than Mom and Pops... Maybe we are all a bit restless?? Stir crazy. Tired of waiting for "it" to happen. Like summer school. Like Real College. Like a project. Like a Change.

Harumph. and UGH.

There is a disturbance in the force... and I'd really like it to mellow. Just a Tad.

Monday, June 30, 2008

behind the scenes

The success or failure of a family outing is in direct relation to the behind the scenes organization and planning of the mother. The more "effortless" and "spontaneous" the experience- the more preparation was put into it. These actions will rarely (if ever) be acknowledged- let alone spoken of. But once in a while... it will be. And that makes all the difference.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

light bulb moment

Like many a Mom with way too much going on, I recently had a light bulb moment regarding my personal state of constantly frazzled craziness. The phrase “If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it” seems to fit me a whole lot better than I’d like to admit.

My days are spent running around like the proverbial chicken, but somehow (knock wood) I manage to keep things rolling. (Please don’t ask me how- If I could put it into words, I’d sell it and be hanging out on a beach with a Margarita. Or 4) In all my craziness, I somewhere discovered my rhythm, found the groove, that carries me through. I am so much more productive on the days were a sane person wouldn’t try and squeeze in anything more (but I do) than I am on days where I don’t have much of anything to do.

Evidentially I have two speeds. “Warp,“ and “stuck on the couch.” Neither of which would I recommend for long term personal joy and/ or satisfaction.

Because of our obnoxiously complex schedules and multi tasking Mom-duties, we are sadly solitary. We (I) take on too much, and have severe delegation issues. Did I say that out loud? And who in their right mind would volunteer to tag along for all this high speed, high stress daily dose of insanity? NOBODY. So we run alone. Dragging the kids to this place or that, errands, appointments, groceries, and “hey I forgot my...” It’s all a very delicately balanced act, but also a terribly solo existence.

I have managed to find a few blogging moms on line who, like me, live the psycho over drive life style. We all seem to share the same craziness, and we are all so accustomed to it being ‘the norm” that we fear and dread the Uncomfortable Silence.

Seriously, what are we supposed to DO? Switching from warp to stalled, is something so foreign- that it is one (of the very few I might say) things I know I am never prepared for. I for one, deal with these rare instances BADLY. Like anxiety attack badly.

Without a schedule, a plan, a timeframe, I am like a lost little kid. Deer in the headlights. I freak and freeze. Somewhere along the lines I must have missed class that day. I have no idea what I like- I can tell you every one else's favorites (and shoe sizes.) My interests? Ummm getting to the appointments on time and to Walmart before 10 am? Does that count? Once upon a time I think I might have known what to do on a free day- but ask me now-and all you will get is a blank stare. I really don’t have a clue.

Have you all seen those stop smoking commercials? Where people are trying to relearn how to do things all over again, because they just can’t manage doing them with out a cigarette in their hand? That's me on a schedule free day. Completely unable to function as a human being. Short of steady string of drool running down my chin. But just barely.

Maybe Moms like me subconsciously choose to isolate them selves. Not thinking people can keep the pace on our mad dash through the day, and scared of looking like the next admitee into the nut factory when we hit a spot of unscheduled “down time?” Or maybe we just get frustrated hearing how “moms need to take time for them selves” and knowing that we suck at it.

Quite frankly I have gotten into the car and been sent on my merry little way by people with the best intentions- thinking they are giving me a break. A break would be assistance with out asking. Being sent out...on my own... is like a slow and evil form of torture. I would end up driving around in circles or sitting in Walmarts parking lot just wondering if I had been away long enough to qualify as having taken some "me time."

Either way, running (or not) hectic (or couch bound) moms run this marathon for the most part, on their own.

Sure, all the other moms are out there running around like crazy too- but we very rarely manage to be moving in the same direction at the same time. We get the abbreviated version of a social life- the brief bump into's and the mutual pick-up times are about all we mere mortals can muster. Yep, we are productive multi-tasking quasi-organized personal assistants, food servers, laundry washers and cab drivers... but we have not quite figured out how to keep it from being such a solitary way to go.

Uncomfortable Silence

Moms tend to live a fairly solitary existence. Sounds strange doesn't it? How can you have a house full of people, but feel alone? Or having a herd of kids around you 24/7... and having no one to talk to.

But it couldn't be more true.

I have a herd, 7 of the loveliest Monkees around, but rarely have someone to converse with. Sure there is a lot of talking AT, but it's just not the same. There is no give and take, no exchange of ideas, no swapping of information. It mostly consists of whining from one, or both, sides of the verbal swap-age.

This lack of "conversation" kind of goes along with our twisted defining of "quiet ." I know around here, there are a few variations- I guess it's all relative. There is the normal "quiet" which, for me, is the everyday regular level of back ground noise. Kids chattering, computer clicking, swamp cooler blowing...Life noises.

There is "too quiet" which is where there should be kids noises, but there aren't . NADA. This is a direct indication that someone has, is, or will be in a moment... something they don't want Mom to find out about. "Too quiet" is a bad thing.

Next is the "Uncomfortable Silence" variation. I am not talking about that awkward pause in the conversation where someone has just asked if ALL those are my kids, and I have replied yes- that's not uncomfortable, just a little weird. For the asker. The "Uncomfortable Silence" is the rare occasion in which Mom is alone. No kids, no agenda, no errands, NADA.

This is the Scary Quiet. The Uncomfortable Silence. The Twilight Zone Quiet. Being hard wired into Mom mode- any deviation from the normal hyper-speed “gotta get it done” throws off my whole groove. I really don’t know how to deal with it, and don’t know anyone who can help me get through it. Uncomfortable Quiet, really just emphasizes how solitary the life of a Mom can be.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Two cups of coffee and still in a fog

I hate mornings like this. Where you have the world running circles around you, but the sludge in your brain keeps anything from coming in clear. Loud, I have... the clear part needs a little assistance. Where all the daily sounds seems too big.

But without the luxury of "Moms calling in sick" days, I must deal.

Just hanging on until the coffee kicks in~

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

The summer of countdowns and questions

Why does it seem like my summer is compiled of counting and countdowns?

How many days have you spent at home vs at grandmas?

How many movies have we watched?

How many minutes until lunch? Can I have a snack now then?

How many times are you going to ask me the same question?

How many times do we listen to the same story, deal with the same eye rolls, listen to the same argument?

How many days until school starts? And how long can I maintain my composure while I wait?

Monday, June 23, 2008

How can sleeping make you MORE tired?

I actually went to bed (at a human enough time) and work up (on my own without kid/ dog interruption) and I think I am MORE tired today than I have been all week long.

Had my 2nd round of immunizations this morning.

Load the kids up, drive across town, call the glass repair dude, get poked in the arm, groceries (and deciding if tomoatos were worth the risk AND the price) and home to sit on the couch with my bon bons.

The headaches a brewin'... must be a Monday.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Summer.. so far.

The Kids (well... me) have been keeping up a notebook of all of our summer exploits, and I told them I would post them once a week.

Mondays highlights: 3 sickies, watched HSM2 and ate what ever we could scavage from the fridge.

Tuesdays highlights: down to 1 sickie, speech was cancelled, made colorful volcanos... Cadens was a little TOO yellow...and everyone made and ate their very own pretzel creations. The big drama consisted of who got to choose the days movie... Tommy one, and then nobody watched. Not even the picker-outer.

Wednesdays highlights: EVERYONE HAS BEEN HEALED!! (until later when one regressed) so we loaded up for The Dollar Store and errands. In the mail summer school schedules for the shorties, Jr high Orientation schedule, and the dreaded report cards- (these could be more accurately described as not so hot lights.) We made ZippyBag Ice Cream, kicked the teenager out and forced him to spend the night with his buddy, and was suprised by a PURDY new daddy made computer desk!! Way to go Daddy-o!

Thursdays exploits: Ran around trying to get my transcript from one college to the Real College... Uncle Bob came and kidnapped the Teen, and the rest of us spent the day visiting (SANITY RECHARGE!) with Meesh. Told her she should visit more often so we have an excuse to go out and have dinner! Had an unexpected phone call, and discovered that dads windshield had and accident. Its the mystery crack that defies explanation.

Friday - yoohoo! : had MORE Real College paperwork to deal with, Billy, Caden and Kenny headed to Grandmas. Kayler made Pizzas for lunch and Chili Dogs for dinner. We all crashed out in the bedroom and watched Camp Rock on the Disney Channel. Jack spent her first night in the house, curled up on me just the the kids did when they were teeny. But STEVEN, its NOT the same thing!

That sums up our week of excitement... for next week, we hope to have a project and a food type thing every day, less trips into town, more naps for mom, and a sickie free existence.

Keep your fingers crossed!

Friday, June 13, 2008


We've added a new member to the family...

Random bits from the check out line~

Check-Out Lady- So hows school going? You about done for the summer?

Me- I just finished my last final! No class until August.

COL- That's good. Give yourself a little down time- send the kids outside and take a break.

Me- I know- I just don't know what I am going to do with myself.

COL- Well with ALL THOSE KIDS - I know what you SHOULDN'T be doing!! wink, wink, nudge, nudge- snort!

Ahhh.... my reputation precedes me.


Well, It's Friday.

Seems like this week flew by... and I don't have much to show for it. Don't get me wrong- a lot of stuff has gone on... just nothing notably productive. Or constructive.

The living room is a mess, the laundry is piled up, the kids' rooms are unmentionable (by that I mean if I mention them, it involves long strings of verb-age that could shame a sailor)... the yard needs to be mowed and the cobwebs are taking over the house... not much to show for my classes being over for the summer.

Felt guilty (briefly) until I sat down to figure out where all my time went...

1 Summer Birthdays birthday party, 3 trips to the pool, 2 BBq's, 2 picnics in the park, 2 Baseball games, 3 field days, an armload of teacher gift bags.... because they're really aren't many people out there who deserve them more than the teachers do!

I have also had 2 sickly little boys (who gets sick on the vary last day of school?!) Multiple runs to Walmart... because between gas prices and grocery costs brings up the question of how much I can sell a kidney for...

So, busy busy week. Maybe next week I can DO something.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Lost in translation

Somewhere along the way "My finals are over!!" was translated into "We don't have to do ANYTHING, Mom can do it."


When the baby is wet- CHANGE HER. If someone has an accident- CLEAN IT UP. If you are going out of the house- BRUSH YOUR HAIR. I don't know where your shoes are, I DON'T WEAR THEM. If you don't like whats to eat, DON'T EAT IT, and really DON'T WHINE ABOUT IT. If your room is trashed and your chores aren't done- DON'T EVEN ASK. WHINING DOES NOT GAIN YOU SYMPATHY.

It just gives me a headache, keeps me from my coffee, and makes me grumpy.

And might make me start counting days until I am back in school~

Monday, June 9, 2008

And the clouds parted...

and the sun shined down... the birds were singing... ahhhhhh. Finals are OVER!

In other short lived news blips.... Clara is a walking bruise factory. I'm just lucky not to have had any photos planned.

Got a phone call in the middle of my final...from the school. A Certain One had belly button issues- and they were HUGE. To her. It wasn't nearly as interesting to everyone else though. Especially in the middle of Organic Chemistry.

And a teenager I know, got busted for bringing stink bomb fixings to school. The bus driver caught a whiff, tossed her cookies... and now I get the honor of driving him to and from school for the rest of the year. Its only a week- and if I weren't his mom, I could be upset about that.

But finals are over.

And it's funny, I don't care who you are....

Thursday, June 5, 2008

In a Haze

Day 5 of Finals Migraine 2008...

Took the Shorties (2 of 'em) to Walmart- I figured I could run in this morning and just get it over with. BAD idea.

You know how a dog can smell fear... Kids can smell a headache. I think that sometimes people confuse the issue, thinking that kids CAUSED the brain pain... when in fact they are just the early warning system... they let you know its coming...

And THEN completely take advantage of the situation.

The volume increases, the "whiny" voices come out. They play up the "tired" symptoms to incredible levels. Like the usually mellow Miss Claire.... she gets snugly when she's tired. Unless I have a headache- then she wants to be held, then put down, than have a snack- but not THAT snack. She wants in the seat of the cart, in the basket of the cart, pushing the cart... running away from the cart...


How does the brain be running a zillion miles an hour, and me not be able to focus or understand any part of it?

2 lectures, and one final.... and this countdown continues...

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

What day is it?

Well, judging from the state of my 4 day old migraine... it is either br />1) MONDAY
2) almost time for a huge exam
3) almost the end of the quarter/ school term
or 4) I have 8 million and 3 things to deal with in the near future... all at the same approximate time in various locations.

If you consider that most days feel like a Monday... then all four seem to fit. Right in to the left side temple region of my highly pressurized head.

And coffee isn't even beginning to help~

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

The streak continues~

And by that I mean... the lack of my early morning walk.

OK- so I used the rain as my excuse to stay curled up in bed... and the fact that the kids did too- helped my cause. They are such enablers!

So, once again- there was a mad dash to the bus. This included threats, yelling (from me and from the short ones) random insults regarding hair dos and outfits (again, they went both ways.)

The highlight of the morning was the 3 year old screaming about being out of pants.

He made the trip to the bus stop in his jacket and Diego tighty-whiteys.

Yep. The streak continues~

Monday, June 2, 2008

A day in the life...

We went to the store Sunday morning- seems like we are always there. It amazes me that I am there so much- and then I discovered the reason... but seeing it in print is a little intimidating!

By the end of the day, we had consumed...

2 cups of coffee 1/2 box of Life cereal 2 dozen eggs 1 pkg flour tortillas 1 gallon of milk 2 bananas 1 1/2 loaves of bread 1/2 pkg sliced cheese 2 lbs of sliced lunch meat 1 pkg of 12 mini bags of chips 1 gallon of lemonade 7 cans of Mt Dew 2 bottles of Propel Mixed Berry 2 cans diet vanilla pepsi 1 frappicino 1 pkg of 12 hamburger patties 1 pkg of 12 burger buns the other 1/2 pkg of sliced cheese 1 bag Doritos 1 bag Lays 3 tomatos 2 hot dogs and 1 ice cream cone.

Guess where I am going today?

Friday, May 30, 2008

Random Ramblings

I have been told that there are actually a few people out there- who check in on this thing...:)

And suggested I get off my lazy arse and post more often.

Being as it is, I have problems with saying "no"... (to anyone that hasn't physically come from out of me) and to high light the wisdom of the saying "be careful of what you wish for..."

Here ya go. Don't expect much, I am WAY to boring!

As a recap of yesterdays excitement, I went to Wally World- with all 5 of the shortest- to rush around and get groceries before unceremoniously dumping them off at the school for the day. Donut's are a great bribe... be good; quiet; non-whiney; human-like... and I'll give you a snack. And they monkees can eat them as they are exiting the vehicle- and the sugar won't kick in for a good few minutes. Allows for a smooth get-a-way, and the brief adoration of the soon to be sticky fingered monsters.

Came home, did the obligatory laundry/ dishes/ pick up after the morning rush. And then wonder why I bother, by the time I get home - (about 10 minutes after the kids do) the house will look nothing like the way I left it.

But I do it anyway. At least the futility is consistent... a lot like the respect, and appreciation that comes with mommy-hood.

Work on my ever present homework...with Dora and Diego in the back ground... while fielding questions from the 3 year old Jabberwocky. Every 15.7 seconds. It's amazing that I can get anything done, let alone keep up the GPA. Somehow I manage- don't ask my secret... It all boggles my mind too.

So how exactly am I supposed to be able to keep it up for another 2 years? With harder classes? And 2 Jabberwockies instead of just one?

Oh, Anxiety... without you - and coffee, who would I be??

Went to class, got the test and the lab grades back... yea for me!! Little happy dance. One lab, one quiz and one final- then I am OFFICIALLY on summer vacation. Without the laundry option.

After school the girls decided that they LOVED their messy bedroom SO SO much that they would forgo dinner (with the fam, they ate much later. In their room) and just hang out. I'd like to think it was sisterly bonding, but it might just have been a case of the lazybums. Just maybe.

The Boys, decided hammers and destruction is a better way to burn off the chili dog dinner- and spend a good chunk of the evening on dismantling the cruddy fencing in the pasture. In pure boy fashion, one ended up crying and bloodied (no stitches required!)... chalk up another scar for our side. Boys and battle wounds- doesn't get any more "real" than that.

Went to bed, woke up... and discovered that it is today.

Again, I had the intentions of walking. But the bed was cozy. The kids got ready too slowly. My leg kinda hurt. So I loaded up Claire in the pack, and we walked. But just to our bus stop, not as far as we have been walking- 7 bus stops away.

Felt guilty about my laziness for about 3 minutes. Which just happens to be about as long as it takes for me to make a mug of my fakey instant coffee. Funny how that works out! By the time I was awake enough to function and make the real coffee...the short walk guilt was completely gone.

Came back, and sat started to think of all the stuff I should be doing... more laundry, spray the damn ants again, homework, copy notes for a friend, brush my hair... maybe.

And that is pretty much what goes on around here. Bunches of nuthin'. Wrapped up in UGH. Aren't you tickled that I shared? Hello? Are you still there?

So now, I am just sitting here wasting time reading blogs, and the newspaper... avoiding the homework, and the dishes. Trying (sort of ) to plan what we should have for dinner, if my pasty white legs will ever tan, and if a coffee IV would be a feasible option.

But then what would I do with all my "I LOVE MOM" coffee cups??

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

mom definitions

mom definition

Vacation: The opportunity to wash the a different location.

The Beach Is Back...

We survived the beach- or should I saw the beach survived us? We had a blast. Went over with the plan to spend the day, and drive home. We stayed. The kids don't think we stayed long enough!I am tempted to agree.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Since I last typed...

To say it has been crazy around here would be... an understatement? Pretty normal- for us? Not even beginning to scratch the surface? All of the above?

Ding- ding- ding! We have a winner!!

Well, Mothers day has come and gone- I survived. Laundry and dishes... my wash tubs runneth over. The kids have remained relatively healthy... bumps, bruises, 4-wheeler crashes, and "he hit me!"... every one is still mobile under their own power. Even if they still want mom to carry them around.

Chemistry is still blowing my mind- but I only have to deal with 1 test, 1 lab, 4 lecture days, and one final. I think I have almost enough coffee to cover that.

I got my acceptance letter into my program (pardon me while I do another little happy dance here) WITH a nice little financial help from the university (and the happy dance continues!) and all the stress and anxiety that comes with it.

OK I am in... Now I have to DO WHAT? Books, fees, requirements, forms, orientations, IMMUNIZATIONS, expectations...

Definitely need more coffee.

It's Memorial Day weekend... which means high gas prices and an overwhelming NEED to get out of town. So fuel costs be damned, off to the beach we head. In about 5 hours.

And I am still up dorking around on the computer.

Maybe TOO much coffee?

Impossible :)

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Alphabet soup ... for brains

Here I sit- my mind is quite full of useless knowledge. Over flowing... because I just think in circles, it gets all swirled around and comes out as a big scramble.

Scrabble blogger. That would be me.

I wonder if I just type a whole bunch of random letters, someone out there might be able to decipher it and let me know what exactly is going on in there. Because, I really haven't a clue.

Ugh. Ugh. Double Ugh.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Good Intentions

The road to WHERE is paved with WHAT?

I have really meant to get on here and blog (whine, witch, complain, fill you all in on the boring nada- ness of my daily being, etc) but life seems to have gotten in my way.

Its a lot nicer than saying I have had absolutely no ambition to do much of anything at all... Lazy Ass-ed syndrome people. It seems to hit me hardest in the spring time.

And spring it is... I'm sure I will snap to my senses again sooner or later~

Friday, April 25, 2008

Hi. My name is Amy. I'm a mom.

When you hear alcoholics say that you know exactly what you mean- the big "Ahhh" moment and you hide the booze... or at least try and act like you have never had a drink before, and would never consider it a possibility in the future.

Sometimes I get the same vibe when I say I am a mom. A stay at home mom.

After the barrage of "so what do you do?"... I am at home with the kids. "Oh, you do daycare?"... No, I just stay with my children. "Ohhhh......" and then they move on, like I was poo on a shoe.

In my desperation for adult semi-human contact I usually spit out something about having my own personal herd of children... and all that comes with it. Desperate attempt at silently screaming "I DO something, really! Talk to me, I promise I am not a leper or anything, I really do DO stuff! Not exciting or anything, but STUFF. I. DO. STUFF. TOO!!!"

It is frustrating beyond all measure, to feel like I have to justify myself, over and over, just to feel less like a lifeless lump of squishy mom mass. But I do. And it is over dorky insignificant things...maybe if I violently spew the amount of tedious STUFF I do daily, the sheer quantity of it will negate the mind numbing sameness of it all. OR make me feel even more like the dumpy, exhausted, unfocused housewife I appear to have become.

Maybe THAT's why I get the "ahhhh...ohhhhh" looks. People DO understand that I have no life, and hope it's not catching. Crazy lady with a Herd Of Monkees... STEP BACK!

I'm a mom. Actually, it is a pretty powerful statement- but just because I am, and have the herd... and stay at home (mostly) with them (as much as my sanity allows)... does not mean that I just sit at home and attempt to maintain, and contain, the devils spawn that I have produced and inflicted upon the world, trying desperately to reduce their destruction of the planet.

I like good books and walks on the beach too.

Monday, April 21, 2008

ugh-UGH... did I mention Ugh yet?

Another Monday is upon us- I think there are more than one in every 7 day cycle. There has to be. Every time I turn around it feels like it's another one.

Since we last spoke... or rather I ranted, whined, spilled my boring daily life guts... I survived the 14th birthday of the oldest of the Monkees. I feel like he got gypped a little- because what can you buy for a 14 year old, that they like and/or want... that you don't need to take out a 2nd mortgage for?? Honestly- please! If you have this information, please share. I have 6 more 14th birthdays to deal with.

So I flubbered my way through it the best I could. He seemed, not horrified... so in Teen World, I guess we did OK. Knocking on some wood here~

Still trying to recover from The Trip- nothing quite feels like "normal" yet. But as I have mentioned before- I have NO IDEA what normal is anyway.

Also managed to maintain my lunch during, and after my Interview... 6 hour round trip drive...stress beyond all reason... absolutely NO idea if it was a good interview, or a disaster... getting to wait, and wait, and WAIT SOME MORE to find out if I am worthy.

Wow, I am too exhausted to even care anymore. If I am in- groovy. I now have the opportunity to have TONS of stress and homework PLUS student loans. If I am deemed NON worthy, I at least get a few months of couch vegging time, before having to stress out about the entire process all over again in 6 months.

Did I say ugh yet?

In more exciting news- I got to meet awesome people in Oklahoma and Texas, met the Sister and the niece and nephew too. Did I mention AWESOME?

Somewhere along the return flight home, I pinched a LOVERLY nerve in my ampleness. THAT STILL HURTS.

My Sis got engaged AND on Judge Judy... in the same weekend.

Grampa ROCKED his golf tourney, Grama survived having the kids invade for a week- AND it looks like, MAYBE, we all survived yet another Monday.

Still knockin' on wood!!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Survived the vacation

Made it back from MY VACATION, and still trying to get back into the swing of things. Had a really good trip- but am very glad to be back with my monkees... next time we will need to take a road trip~

More details soon!!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008


Can you feel it? The excitement (anxiety?) in the air? Thats me.

Vacation!! We head out early Thursday morning, and by we I mean me and the Hub. Rather than the Whole Herd. I still have to pack the kids up, but still the thought of only counting to 1 on the way out the door- it's all new. Seriously what will I do with the extra time?!

From the usual 25-30 minute "GET IN THE CAR, WE HAVE TO LEAVE NOW!!!!" I'll have an extra HOUR. Ummm the possibilities!!

I have a bunch to do, but most is finished... all my little last minute Mom details. Im a little obnoxious in the planning department...and and so hyped up I can hardly type!

The 4 cups of celebratory coffee might have somthing to do with that! I wonder how the coffee is in Oklahoma? I hear TEXAS brews some mean Joe - With a little Sting to it...

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Week in review~

Ok- its Spring break here... for the kids. I had to go back to class this week. How wrong is that?

Speaking of wrong, it snowed. TWICE. SINCE. EASTER. wrong wrong wrong.

I cleaned out 12 bags of worth of Goodwill donations. I think 98% of what I dropped off, I bought there in the first place. Once again- how wrong is that?!

My Meesh had her Pharmacy school interview... and looked STUNNING. I was notified (finally!!) that MY program deems me worthy enough to be interviewed as well. Double Hubba Hubba for that. Now I just get to stress over what to wear to it. I'm thinking lime green hot pants. Just to liven things up a little~

My Sis nailed me with an April Fools... I will smacketh her down later.

My 5 year anniversary is Saturday... and we can't decide if it's gone by fast- or if we've been together forever. Somedays it alternates, depending on the conversation :)

I did get some LOVERLY gifts... Cuisinart Baby... and Beatles music.

I am truly loved.

The Vacation is fast approaching... Feeling a little scattered, anxious, excited, nervous, excited, and AHAHAHAHAH!!!! about it. If you couldn't tell~ The Happy Dance doesn't translate very well by blog.

Just picture a tired looking, grey haired, slightly squishy lady - with a really REALLY big smile. That would be me. :)

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Easter 2008

Monkees in trees, in satin dresses... and lined up for their share of the loot!

Thursday, March 20, 2008


A "B+" in chem, and a "B" in psycho... I mean micro. Not quite up to my usually tough self imposed standards, but I will gladly take 'em!

Happy dance time

Ellen has NOTHIN' on my happy dance moves!~

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Still breathing...

Grades won't be posted until Friday... but I am still here. Had to hit the bar (for my very first full glass of wine EVAH) after the exam though.

Wow, did I need one!!

In other, better, more exciting ( to me!!) news and updated information... I AM TAKING OFF!

After years of hopes, dreams, plans... crossing my fingers and wishing on a star. I AM GOING ON VACATION.

I haven't spoken of it before- jinx factor and all... but honestly! Who deserves a vacation, a kid free, school free, get on an airplane and fly away to someplace THAT'S NOT HERE....than me?

Come on, dare ya...can't come up with anyone now can ya?

Me neither... that's why I am going :)

Yes, the insane giddy giggles of anticipation are coming from me~ Thankyouverymuch.

And there are plenty more where they came from too~

Monday, March 17, 2008

Happy St Patty

Ah what I would give for a big ole mug of green beer... that is if I actually drank beer in the first place. And if it weren't green.

Either way... I couldn't tie one on now if I wanted to... and the past few days... OH BUDDY... have I wanted to.

This version of hell week is almost over, took my Chem final this afternoon- and did pretty well if I do say so myself. Of course, I have no idea about what kind of score I got out of it... But its all perspective, right? I survived... it's all good :)

Now if I can just hold out another sleep free, anxiety ridden, caffeine enhanced 26 hours or so... I will officially recognise myself as closer to super human than my mere mortal wrappings would suggest.

For a whole minute or so anyway. Ugh. 26 and counting.

DO you think green beer will keep till then?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Finals week~

Ummm... little busy here.

Last week of classes.... eye appointment... speech class... 4 conferences.


I'll be back when I have a second to breathe~

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Only my monkees

The Washer Dude came- he was amazing. Quick, effecitent, not scary in the usual creepy fix-it-guy way. Nice!

Evidentually my kids are genius and some how mananged to get a sock into the pump and screw the whole thing up. How you get a sock from inside the washer tub, between the part that circle and the part that doesn't.... past the pump filter, wedge inbetween the first mechanical doo-hickey and THEN get wedged into the 2nd part (the hose that leads to the drain hose....beyond reason.

But hey, if there is the slightest change possible... My monkees can acomplish it!

Unless it has anything to do with cleaning their room, or not screeching at one another- of course!

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

The Land of Limbo~

He I sit. Once again in the dreaded Land Of Limbo. I hate this place with a passion. I shouldn't- because it is practically my permanent residence... but it still suck-eth big time.

Hubby got a raise. Yea!! And a weeks paid vacation. WHoot-woooo!! AND we got our tax refund back- so the stars appeared to align, and we start to dream of things. Wow- grown-up trip :) Seriously, WHAT was I thinking?!

I believe I have spent a combined total of 10 days away from the little monkees. EVER. It is usually a day here... maybe a couple there. Every few years or so.

And YOU thought it was hard to plan a trip WITH kids- HA! Try planning one WITHOUT them. Just another of life's little "haha in your FACE" moments.

I have been anxiously awaiting news from my nursing school- I sent off the applications, the transcripts, the fees.... and am still waiting. I don't do well with that- all possible patients is used up on the kids. Haha- I joke.

No, not really.

Just found out that people have been getting their acceptance letters for over a week now. My mail box is still empty. Don't know what to do if I am not accepted- at least I wont have the interview anxiety then, right?!

I know- always looking for the bright side. I am a source of light and positive energy.

Or not. I'm tired and frustrated.

Oh yeah- and my washer crapped out on me. Fills up fine, but won't drain. Went to the laundramat yesterday- JOY! and did 8 loads in an hour and 15 minutes. Thats a challenge without kids... and guess how many I took.

It's always something though- right?

So here I sit- stuck in the waiting game. DO I get clean clothes? DO I get into my program? DO I pass my finals? DO I really even give a poo? Not so much at the moment.

All I know is I need a break-

And wish that it weren't all such a big IF too.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Spare Change?

I need some. A hair style. A vacation. A new pair of shoes. Something. Anything.

I'll sit and write about how I wish every thing would be "normal," but since that is an absolute impossibility around here- maybe change would be good. On a strictly scheduled and in expected, predictable fashion :) And on my terms~

The weekend went about the same as ever- nothing exciting, mind numbing, cute, or relatively noteworthy to type up and share. The weather was decent, and the kids got to play outside. Steven and I went out too- baseballs, soccer balls, plastic bats, sleds, golf balls, wiffle balls, jump ropes and gliders- everything that was hidden by the snow, made an appearance. That was nice, but now I have a list of STUFF we need to get for spring.

at least OUTside stuff makes it quite INside!

Actually got out of the house to study for a little bit. Coffee and Chemistry~ out was nice though. Took the Twinners... met up with a Study Buddy- a charter member of the "What were we thinking... taking micro and chem at the same time" club.

Still don't know what we were thinking, but at least we only have 3 weeks of suffering left.

The kids swapped chores yesterday... they were doing OK last week. After the switch- Not so much. Ugh. Mondays are horrible (as I might have mentioned in previous rants) but holy harpsichords people. Its bad.

Monday morning. TestDay Monday mornings- with a house full of half-arsed finished chores... which make them 3x as cruddy to deal with the next day. And guess who gets to deal with it all.... hummmmmm WHO could that be?

So I want a change. A GOOD one. Even if it's just a little one.

Friday, February 15, 2008

I remember~

A friend I had growing up just died. I hadn't seen her in years, but was just thinking about her the other day. Today I opened up the paper, and saw the notice. She was 33- just like me. We had dance classes together, went to each others houses for birthdays- I have a picture from the newspaper of us all dressed up at a tea party...

Life is just not fair. I sit here and whine about all my problems and gripes, when they are so unimportant. She was so full of life, and energy- and always smiling. Always.

Cancer is a bitch, it's not fair.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Well, it's not Monday.

Hi. I think I lost my ever lovin' mind.

While dealing with the kids, house, hubby- I went back to school. Traded the "kids-at-home-homeschool" for the "mom-in-college" thing. GUILT. Since I was only taking 2 classes (only...snicker snicker) and the GUILT thing started working overtime. Surely, I should be doing more. So while talking to my friend, I decided to apply for a part time job.

So, in theory, it sounded like a mighty fine idea. I could work 3 days a week, 4 hours a day- around my school schedule. I would get some more experience (looks good for the nursing program interview.) I will get all my re-certification classes paid for- also a plus because I need them for WSU anyway. I also get to bring in a wee bit-o-$$ so I don't feel like a complete leach. I should be making just about enough to cover the gas it's going to cost to get me there.

So this weekend I was training... instead of 4-8, it was 4-10. Both nights. I went in to drop off paperwork, and Suprise!! I had another night of training... with 2 hours notice. 4-8... hahahaha! Got home at around 11. Scheduled for 5 days, not 3... The scheduling kinks are ... well, kinks I have to work through. Re-scheduling and shifiting... not a big deal, just a hassle I wasn't completely prepared for.

I probably didn't think things out carefully enough, the kids are grumpy. The hubby seems a little miffed too- glad I am off the couch and away from the bon bons... but he has to cover the home front while I am away.

I'm sure that is not really anyones idea of a good time :)

So now, I have Im going to school instead of working GUILT. Working when I have a family to take care of GUILT. Buying a big van I needed, but that sucks a lot of gas- STRESS. Keeping the family sane and atteneded to like I was really here when I am not, but not wanting to rock the boat or cause more stress for anyone else- OBSESSION.

Such a mess- when I was only looking to make things easier.

Crap. At least it isn't Monday. Don't think I could take it~

Friday, February 8, 2008

The weak of the week~

It has certainly been a week. Lots going on, all of it monumnetally boring, dreary... not cute in the slightest.

Is it over yet?

I have discovered that migraines are attracted to Biology tests. And this is even before the all nighter study sessions to avoid the "help" of short ones who enjoy paper and pencils more than anyone should. It's also a whole lot quieter at 2:30am... if you don't account for the wind :)

So the Bio test was last night. If I failed miserably, which I have no doubt that I did, I will not be alone. We all filtered out of class, and huddled in little balls on the floor rocking, contemplaiting our collective fates. This is the last in a line of pre-reqs... and it's killing us. Slowly. Painfully. Pain-stakingly cruel.

A pause button. Please?!

But it is now (almost) the weekend... where normal people relax, and take it easy... gearing up for the week ahead. WHO are these people and where do I sign up? Weekends are when I get everything done for the next week, so I can squeeze in an hour or two of sleep... in between study sessions, calls of "MOooooooommmmmmmmmmm", and the always expected "unexpected."

It's always something, right?!

Well, I guess. Back to the grind.... but I will be day dreaming of a beach vacation. Just for sanity's sake. ~ A girls gotta have dreams!!

Friday, February 1, 2008

Square peg, round hole?

So I sit here and wonder what exactly IS my deal. I seem to always be about a half step behind, never quite where I think I should be.

Kind of always felt like I was one of those Outside Looking In people. Boy does that suck. I was a cheerleader in high school- but never one of the "popular kids." I do pretty well with my classes, but by no means do I feel like I fit in there either.

Even with college, I feel not quite up to everyone elses level. Like I'm in a totally different orbit, all of my own.

Some ladies from class were planning to stay on campus yesterday afternoon and study for last nights exam. I had to run and do the kid pick up. drop off, make dinner, make sure every one was set... and rush back to class myself. When I got back, they were all sitting around, studying and visiting and having a good time. They went to Red Robin for dinner, visited... wow.

That's just a completely different world than the one I live in. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be able to do that. Something as simple and unimportant as that- just to be a part of "the group" rather just being the one who watches.

But that's not where I am, or who I am. I don't know why it bothers me, but sometimes it is harder to see than other times. This time was hard-

Clara Lovin'

Clara loves... everything.

Not just everyone... everyTHING. Today at the $100 store (aka Wally World) I was busy pulling out a huge stack of Totinos from the freezer.... and I heard a laugh behind me. As I turned around thinking what did I do NOW?! I see the lady pointing at my cart saying "ahhhhhh How cute!!!" Now that I know she wasn't refering to me :) I see what Clara was doing.

Evidentally I left the cart close to the side of the bread isle... UNLIKE MOST WALMART SHOPPERS who just stop mid stream, thankyouverymuch. I left the cart and Miss Clara close enough to the bread that she could reach over and touch it.

In her constant search for lovin' she pulled out a loaf and found it to be quite cuddly. Pulled it out a little farther and hugged on it some more. The lady had watched her pull and snuggle, then look around to see if I was watching, then pull and cuddle some more. Ahhh forbidden love~

Oh for the love of whole wheat!

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Career change~

I am seriously considering a career change.

I could be a zoo keeper. I have loads of experience feeding herds at a time. I am used to cleaning up after monkees. I think this really could work out for me. The animals don't really care or notice who takes care of them, as long as they are. It really wouldn't be much of a change in that regard.

The animals wouldn't complain about what was made for dinner, wouldn't fight with each other over who touched who's stuff.

Hummm. I might have found something there. I mean, the worst the zoo animals could do is throw Poo at you- and after all these kids.... That's nothing.

Either that or get a wife. Then I wouldn't have to worry about Poo at all!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

No sleep, 2 tests and a sick baby~

Pretty much sums up my week.

I did manage to pull out an A- on my Micro test... not bad for a single, post migraine night of cramming :) Dude, I'll take it!!

Had a Chem test on Friday... not too bad- but keeping my fingers crossed none the less.

Now my main focus is on the latest round of "The Crud" I think I passed it on to The 2...maybe 3 shortest ones. And I am feeling their pain. Literally. The headaches, the fever...the "JUST HOLD ME!!!" I think I had at least one, sometimes more than one semi-permanently attached to my physical being for the better part of yesterday. And last night. And this morning.

Seriously need to work on the "pause life button."

Press Pause to ... Breathe...think...react...move the child's head away from my face... just the important things, ya know?

Still waiting for the lotto win so I can hire a nanny... then I would just have the privilege of paying her to watch me as I did everything myself anyway. Because only Mooooooooooooooooooommmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa will do when you aren't feeling good.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

In other news...

Besides purty van adventure... this past week was quite full. Well, maybe it was just the weekend- it went way too fast.

3 Bob birthdays, my nephew (1/13)- my brother (1/19) and my dad. (1/21) I know we have a bunch in July too- but ours are spread through out the month... thats still a lot of cake though!!

I had a MicroBiology test... and true to form, planned to do all my major studying the weekend before the test. First tests of the quarter are always a little anxious, especially with a new instructor. Not sure how he tests, how much BS you can actually get away with...and what the heck you are supposed to be studying anyway.

Saturday I picked up the van, got hit with a monster migrain, fell on the icy steps and slept until about mid day Sunday. Takes a chunk out of your weekend, if you are sleeping through it. Not restful sleep either- dang it... sleep is nice!!

But the weekend study time was non existent...and I fell into my usual up all night the day before the test. Quiet time is hard to find around here!! I think the test went ok- but I find out tonight. Cross your fingers for me.

Lots to do... but it is very cold and slow moving this morning. More tests, more dishes, more laundry... not what I am looking forward to. More coffee- now I could get motivated for that!!

Oh man... I just lapsed into chemistry brain. "how many calories of energy will it take to raise the temperature enough for my fingers to regain feeling?!" And all I wanted was a latte!!!

The number you have dialed....

Beep- Beep- BEEEEP. We're sorry. The life you have selected is not compatible with "The real world" as the rest of us know it. We have things set up for families of 2 parents and 2-3 children. Motels accept 3 children, per room- with an adult present. There are limits on the amount of children companies think 1 adult can supervise. THESE DON'T INCLUDE YOU. Neener neener. Please feel free to continue to beat your head against wall, and thanks for calling. Have a nice day!! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

Do people "out there" think it's easy to have a herd of monkees? Do they think that we have so many other opportunities that we should be pointed at, discussed, and pretty much hosed over at every available turn?

Take for instance, my yesterday.

We went and bought a 15 passenger people moving van. BIG VAN. Nobody does this for the usual reasons one would go buy a new car. It's not fancy, not fast, sexy, MOVES huge amounts of people from one place to another. I have 7 kids...and 2 (more) grown up type people to shuttle around. Daily. Sometimes we actually like to go to the same places, AT THE SAME TIME. In the same car would be a nice idea, don't cha think? Well, I did. Silly me.

So my dad helped me find one- Thanks Dad!! And it was local, not tore up, somewhat newer than the Beast, and would fit all the monkees and groceries too. Wow- Happy lady. For a minute- I forgot my place in the universe where I am supposed to be humble and unobtrusive while I raise my children in peace and relative weird-ness that comes from having a Herd rather than just a brother. Or just a sister.

So I got my Purdy van on Saturday. The insurance guy was closed on the weekend, but I had no worries. He is the same guy that saved my hiney from a pre-dawn deer incident on the New Mexico border- but that is another story. Grab a coffee- I'll tell you about that one later.

Any who- Monday, they were closed for the holiday (Betcha didn't know my dad had such an important birthday, did you???) Tuesday was my crazy school day, so Wednesday morning I drove over, all smug in my people moving prowess... kids strapped in, van still shiny and with the new car smell...

And was told it was un-insurable. "Maybe you could tell the dealer you can't insure it, and see if he'll take it back for ...ummm... well, something smaller doesn't work- does it?! Maybe you could get commercial coverage, or just carpool."


So not only am I pressed into the finger pointing lime light AGAIN.... "Hey ma did ya see the size of that thar van!!" now, I CAN'T have said van...because its too big. I wondered, briefly, if I should have just bought a short bus instead.

Deep breath. Crap.

Finally got some coverage, the agent happened to be the wife of an old friend. Small town life strikes again... but she was uber helpful, and we're all set. I never thought about the kids being a commercial venture, but hey- what ever gets your vehicle covered. So watch out. It's big. It's red. You can see us coming...Yes. Big Van, lots of kids. And they are mine. All of 'em. I have had 14 years of diapers people... You know I am on the edge. Don't make things MORE difficult for me!!

Monday, January 14, 2008

Back into the grind

Mondays are horrible. I'm sure I am the first to bring this to your attention.

It takes the 2 weekend days to start to wind down enough to actually start thinking about rest and recuperation... so when you are ready for it (Usually late Sunday) the cruel joke is that you have to get up on Monday.

I think the kids are in on the joke- you can't get them out of bed for anything on a weekday. Well anything reasonable... threats and promises eventually stop working. But come the weekend- they are up before the sun.

How wrong and twisted is THAT? Just another thing they leave out of the "So you are a parent now...(snicker snicker!)" book. Really someone should write about how parenthood REALLY is. Global population issues would cease to be a problem.

Well, that and personal experience with the smelly end of an 18 month old is also a pretty powerful deterrent.

So anyway. Monday is here. Not as ready for it as I'd like to be... but it's here none the less. Better pull on the boots and start wading...

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Survivor... College Sciences

Finished up my first week back at school- Fried some bacteria, turned in my Nursing school application- anxiety laden week... and now we're making our way through a teenage over nighter.

Billy has his buddy spending the night... Pizza, Mt Dew, PlayStation3... and giggly little sisters. Clara spent the first 20 minutes standing in front of the friend- just STARING. Poor fella was sitting on the couch, the 3 blondies were hovering... and there was Clara, 3 inches away from his knee- looking at him like he was green with 3 heads.

Welcome to our home... these will be your stalkers.

Made the Saturday morning run to Wally's this morning... broke my "go before 10am!!!" rule... and remembered exactly why I made the rule in the first place. But I had to get the pizza... Billy informed me that Bud (name changed because I am sure something embarrassing will happen- to someone...and without posting his name, I can write ALL ABOUT IT and not feel too guilty about it) was coming at noon, and he liked Hawaiian pizza. Why do I care what Pizza he likes? MOM... anytime we have people over you ALWAYS get pizza. Except grandma... then you just ask her if she wants water or something.

Predictability in my old age? Works for me... at least people know what to expect.

Do you want pepperoni with that?

I have enough kids now that one can become a Dr, one a Lawyer, an Accountant, and still have a few left over to work in the pizza place... and bring me some! Steven thinks they should all work at different places, so we have a menu selection...Some days that sounds like a really really good idea :)

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Trudging forward

I think I have the Januaries. Maye. At least I can call it something!

Went to the first class of my night Microbiology class. 6:35-9:35pm. Tuckered by 8, revived by 9... then couldn't get a good nights rest. Again.

Destined to be exhausted, and grumpy :)

Well, I finished up my application packet for Nursing school- turning it in today!! Meet the lady who will be my fill in kid sitter- she seems great. Josh has her boys in line, following him in to trouble- and Clara has a baby crush on the youngest boy. Oh man. She lives up a steep, and yesterday snowy, street... we made it about 3/4 the way up it... and then slid back about half the distance. Parked at the neighbors and hiked the rest of the way.

Made just enough dinner for the kids to eat, Hub to have seconds... and for Clara to drop hers. That never happens (making the right amount, not Clara pitching hers!!)- Its always too much or not quite enough + left overs.

Josh tried to figure out how many of Clara blocks would fit into the toilet, flooding the bathroom....before he was caught and sent to bed. I think the record is 3... maybe 3 and a half.

Well I should be doing my home work- or cleaning the house- or getting out of the PJ's. But the kids had late start at school, and my groove is severely shifted. Viable reasoning?!!? I think so~

Monday, January 7, 2008

Writings of an angry white woman~

I don't know why I am so mad- But I am. I know I shouldn't be- which make s it all worse. I am mad about everything, and nothing. Big things and small things too. Things I have no control over, and things I have led myself into.

Classes start again today. I am sort of looking forward to it- but I miss having the kids home schooled. At least when they swarmed- I knew what was going on with them... but then I spend the weekend with everyone and am glad, sort of, that they all head out in the morning. I always hated the thought of using public schools as a daycare- but thats just what it feels like I have done.

I am just so damned mad about everything, and I don't understand why. Why now? Nothing has really changed lately. Same crap to deal with- shouldn't be a big deal, but it's crushing. Most of my latest gripes (whines) could probably fall under the "pity party" heading- but like I mentioned. Things are the way they always are- because that is how I let them go. Not really a change here- so why be upset now?

Can you be completely overwhelmed, and underwhelmed: at the same time? Feel unnoticed, then the Hub of "Why don't I have any clean socks... whats for dinner... what ELSE is there?" ... "Well, I WOULD have done (whatever) if the house wasn't a mess...the kids were quiet..." "I didn't KNOW I was supposed to wash with soap, Start the dishwasher, throw away the pile of garbage after I (sorta) swept the floor."

So which is worse... just doing it myself (and being pissed about it all) or hollering and standing over the short ones while they wiggle and squirm and still don't do it? I think I waste more time, energy, and wind power doing the hover and holler...and then have to do it all anyway. Maybe the pissed is a valid reaction.

SO what the hell do I do now?! My life is a complete contradiction. I do, but I don't. I should, but then...don't. I'm exhausted, but can't sleep.

How do you scream out for relief, when you can't figure out what you need relief from? How do you figure out what will make things easier, better, less defeating- instead of making things harder? worse? more complicated?

I want to hide out from the world, but at the same time already feel too isolated, and alone. Strange to hear from someone with a large family- see what a conundrum I face? Seem locked in this circle of "you can't get there from here, " and "but first..." But when haven't I been?

It would be nice to take a break- but then I couldn't enjoy it- I'd be worrying about all the other things I should be doing instead. Like spending money on my school books- GUILT. Yes, its for a good reason, no- it's not like I am out buying designer text books. Yes, I need them for (more school, more school, more school) before I have a chance to start bringing in some cash rather than just spending it all. I feel like I am taking away from my family- no matter how much I try and convince myself "its for the best... IN THE LONG RUN."

Inpatients. Guilt. Uncertainty. Maybe those are my biggest reasons for my anger- but how in the world to you get over that?

Or if you are me- how do you keep trudging through it- until you can figure out what to do about it all? Sit and smolder...

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

New Year~

It is the official 2008 inaugural blog. About time, huh!!

Seriously, 2008? Already? You have to be kidding!

I don't go in for the resolutions so much- I think you should really try to do the best you can, AS you can... rather than making the big "Im going to..." announcement... and then crash and burn and feel bad when the unrealistic goals are not met. Who needs the extra guilt? I'm a mom - I have plenty of guilt already!

Today, things are starting to get back to the "quasi-normalicy" that is as close to our normal as we ever hope to get to. Steven is back at work- the kids are off at school, the 2 teenies are keeping each other entertained... and I have the coffee pot a workin'. I even have a few days "open" like this before I head back to classes. It would be all peaches IF I was ready for it all, but not quite there yet. At least I have a few days to try and get situated! Ahhh- a little hope out in the universe!~

I spent the better part of the vacation trying to maintain my sanity, and balance... between the kids, the hub, the coffee, and all the holiday STUFF... my mojo was way out of wack. Surviving the vacation... I think I did that. It also happens to be the way I am looking at this new year.


I also was able to help my friend work on her essays for Pharmacy school- very cool. Lots of work, and better her than me... but I was glad I could be somewhat helpful. Now I just have to finish my Nursing Programs paperwork... Financial aid papers, taxes... and finish up (PASS) my 3 remaining pre-reqs... and that portion of my life might be under control.

Well, not a complete cause of stress. At the moment :)

One less worry is always a good thing.

Happy new year- and survival and less stress for us all!