Friday, September 17, 2010

Ahhhh Friday!

Today was a good day- I was able to have lunch with My Ladies, which was way over due. Nothing can improve the state of mind like being surrounded by your friends.

We even had movies and ice cream... all my monkees and me.

I can honestly say- I loved every minute of it~ definately a good day. And not a sceond too soon.

Another day

Im tired. Physically, emotionally- Im drained.

Honestly I dont know why I ever thought I was required to be all things to everyone... but show how it looks like I have taken on that responsibility.

Maybe Im incredibly slow- but I just dont think I can do it anymore. I just figured that out.

I cant alwyas be the strong one, the grown up, the one with all the solutions, and I can't bear all of the burden of blame- no matter how hard I try. And suprisingly- I think I am able to realize that I shouldnt have to be.

NObody tells you this when you are growing up- dreaming of being able to stay up as late as you want, eat junk food all day, and plan your "perfect" life.

On second thought - its probably for the best that they dont. Its too depressing.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


Lately I have felt like the butt of some gigantic cosmic joke. And I can't for the life of me figure out what I did to deserve it.

Cut me some slack- will ya? Please?! Im begging here- and I DON'T do that.

Who ever it is up there running things definately has a sick sense of humor.

Did you see I said please??

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The one where I bitch.

Im not at all into the He said-She said stuff... BUT when I get calls from people I dont even know, asking me to clarify "the situation" because it doesn't make sense.... I think I have the right to vent.

Just like me having to break the news to the Mother-in-law. How is that right?

I knew I would somehow be made the bad guy. That things would get twisted and details left out- in order for OTHER people to be blameless. AND I should be mad...

BUT IM NOT! I am PROUD I have an education. A job. A backbone. And a little bit of self respect. If being the "bitch" is what it takes to protect my family, and be a good mom to my kids... I will wear that label with pride.

Monday, September 13, 2010

New Era

Today the last of my monkees started her first day of public pre-school. I am the only person I know to have kids in each one of the five public schools in town. I think there should be some sort of prize for that... like free brownies, or a tummy tuck.

Dressed in her new finery-BRIGHT school bus yellow skirt and shirt- that totally matched her yellow, cut out girl name tag. Sporting her very first hair cut (5 cm trim of the ends of that mullet shjes been wearing since she firt sprouted hairs!!) It was a good day. Buttercup was even chosen to be line-leader- the teacher figured she had so many siblings that she would probably know just what to do, and how to do it. The teacher was right- she did.

I admit I was a little bit lost trying to figure out what to do with a morning to myself- it was oddly quiet...but checking my watch every 5 minutes or so just to make sure I wouldn't be late to pick her up- kept me pretty busy!

I can't believe they are all in school- and I am finally OUT of school.

Crazy how time flies.

Sunday, September 12, 2010


Another training day at work- and another weekend with the kids running havoc on the house while I am there. They did attempt to do the chores I left for them... to a certain "kids definition" of clean.

A work in progress, so to speak.

I did get my first "good" paycheck- the one where I am an RN- and was supposed to help me feel like the last 2 years of homework and stress were actually worth something... and they didn't change my payrate like they were supposed to. Opening up a much anticipated (and now totally needed) check for 1/3 the amount you are expecting- makes you want to shrivel up.

Now I am terrified to look at the bank account- knowing it was ravaged to begin with- being the grown up is not all its cracked up to be.

At least I HAVE a job, I HAVE an education, and I HAVE hope for being able to take control of this financially "interesting" situation.

It still stings though, when I hear about people planning vacations, or home remodels, or talking about their new cars. Thats not going to be me- for a long time. I just wish I could give the kids more-