Friday, February 15, 2008

I remember~

A friend I had growing up just died. I hadn't seen her in years, but was just thinking about her the other day. Today I opened up the paper, and saw the notice. She was 33- just like me. We had dance classes together, went to each others houses for birthdays- I have a picture from the newspaper of us all dressed up at a tea party...

Life is just not fair. I sit here and whine about all my problems and gripes, when they are so unimportant. She was so full of life, and energy- and always smiling. Always.

Cancer is a bitch, it's not fair.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Well, it's not Monday.

Hi. I think I lost my ever lovin' mind.

While dealing with the kids, house, hubby- I went back to school. Traded the "kids-at-home-homeschool" for the "mom-in-college" thing. GUILT. Since I was only taking 2 classes (only...snicker snicker) and the GUILT thing started working overtime. Surely, I should be doing more. So while talking to my friend, I decided to apply for a part time job.

So, in theory, it sounded like a mighty fine idea. I could work 3 days a week, 4 hours a day- around my school schedule. I would get some more experience (looks good for the nursing program interview.) I will get all my re-certification classes paid for- also a plus because I need them for WSU anyway. I also get to bring in a wee bit-o-$$ so I don't feel like a complete leach. I should be making just about enough to cover the gas it's going to cost to get me there.

So this weekend I was training... instead of 4-8, it was 4-10. Both nights. I went in to drop off paperwork, and Suprise!! I had another night of training... with 2 hours notice. 4-8... hahahaha! Got home at around 11. Scheduled for 5 days, not 3... The scheduling kinks are ... well, kinks I have to work through. Re-scheduling and shifiting... not a big deal, just a hassle I wasn't completely prepared for.

I probably didn't think things out carefully enough, the kids are grumpy. The hubby seems a little miffed too- glad I am off the couch and away from the bon bons... but he has to cover the home front while I am away.

I'm sure that is not really anyones idea of a good time :)

So now, I have Im going to school instead of working GUILT. Working when I have a family to take care of GUILT. Buying a big van I needed, but that sucks a lot of gas- STRESS. Keeping the family sane and atteneded to like I was really here when I am not, but not wanting to rock the boat or cause more stress for anyone else- OBSESSION.

Such a mess- when I was only looking to make things easier.

Crap. At least it isn't Monday. Don't think I could take it~