Friday, April 25, 2008

Hi. My name is Amy. I'm a mom.

When you hear alcoholics say that you know exactly what you mean- the big "Ahhh" moment and you hide the booze... or at least try and act like you have never had a drink before, and would never consider it a possibility in the future.

Sometimes I get the same vibe when I say I am a mom. A stay at home mom.

After the barrage of "so what do you do?"... I am at home with the kids. "Oh, you do daycare?"... No, I just stay with my children. "Ohhhh......" and then they move on, like I was poo on a shoe.

In my desperation for adult semi-human contact I usually spit out something about having my own personal herd of children... and all that comes with it. Desperate attempt at silently screaming "I DO something, really! Talk to me, I promise I am not a leper or anything, I really do DO stuff! Not exciting or anything, but STUFF. I. DO. STUFF. TOO!!!"

It is frustrating beyond all measure, to feel like I have to justify myself, over and over, just to feel less like a lifeless lump of squishy mom mass. But I do. And it is over dorky insignificant things...maybe if I violently spew the amount of tedious STUFF I do daily, the sheer quantity of it will negate the mind numbing sameness of it all. OR make me feel even more like the dumpy, exhausted, unfocused housewife I appear to have become.

Maybe THAT's why I get the "ahhhh...ohhhhh" looks. People DO understand that I have no life, and hope it's not catching. Crazy lady with a Herd Of Monkees... STEP BACK!

I'm a mom. Actually, it is a pretty powerful statement- but just because I am, and have the herd... and stay at home (mostly) with them (as much as my sanity allows)... does not mean that I just sit at home and attempt to maintain, and contain, the devils spawn that I have produced and inflicted upon the world, trying desperately to reduce their destruction of the planet.

I like good books and walks on the beach too.

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