Monday, November 26, 2007

Monday morning FREAK

Holy guacamole Batman- today sucked.

After a LONG weekend, of TRYING to study for my test... which of course never happened... I stayed up late last night in a last ditch cram session. I was doing ok- until I went to sit on the bed- AND WOKE UP 2 hours later.

Which is about 10 minutes before the kids have to be in school, 40 minutes before my BIG test... which I was freaking out about BEFORE the IM LATE freak out. I Live 15 minutes from the kids' school, 35 from the college... and if you factor in the get the rest of the kids up, ready, loaded... out to Ma's and BACK to college- I was screwed.


Hubby took over- I dropped the big ones was a SLOW roll... and drove SAFELY (hi mom) to class. Hoping I could make it in time to attempt the test I knew I was going to bomb.

Somehow I survived... Haven't had a break down/ freak OUT/ panic fit like that one in a while. Tears were shed, curse words were cursed.... but I did manage to remember to inhale and exhale- over and over. Still have the shakies, but I think it is far from terminal.

My phony verneer of calm and "I can handle it" seems to have ummmm cracked (shattered out?) a bit today.

But breathing is good. I'll just focus on THAT for a while. And daydream about hiding under a rock for a bit.

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