Anxiety- the fuel of life.
I went into town this morning, for an immunization I needed updated for school, and went ALL. ALONE. For the first time in over 6 weeks, I spent 37 minutes kid free.
Weird I tell ya, but much needed. I got to see a friend, pay to be poked, and breath.
Now back to the anxiety of life- If it weren't for the stress of "ITS coming!" "What's going to happen" "Can I really get through this" "What did I sign up for" WHY?!?!?!" ...
I would have a peaceful paradise of a life. I could do what I wanted, when I wanted, and not have to worry. About a thing. But then again I would probably not have the motivation to da anything at all- and be bored and whine about that. So I guess a little anxiety is a good motivatior- putting a little extra "git" in the ole git-a-long, just to provide the necessary spark to get through another day.
But there is a tolerance level, just enough to get me off of my tookus- and not so much that I want to sit in a dark corner rocking and drooling on my shirt. Currently I find myself leaning towards the corner a little more than I would like to admit.
But here is a terrible thought, maybe I am so used to the high anxiety levels that it now takes a semi truckful just to register on the radar. And by the time it does register... Oh boy!
But today, I had a breath. And it was good. And the world didn't crash in on itself. Now I just need to figure out how to breathe on a regular basis. That would be good.