just another day

Every day around here is an adventure. We run the gamit on emotions, frustrations, joy, and pain. Somedays are rough, other days are rougher. All the "surprises" and unexpected... everythings sure can pile up. And in a hurry. Nothing is gradual around here~

A body'd think you would get used to it, find other ways to deal with it. No big deal... this happens, not all the time but it has happened before and will happen again. Calm and relaxed...

In my dreams maybe! Emotion, and reactions aren't logical. Aren't predictable. Are completely unreliable. And so are people. You revert back to what works.

And when things pile up, and its a lot to handle- like when the kids are sick, or tired, or bored- are injured, or could be hurt- I launch right into defense mode. It's not always pretty thing, but it seems to be what works. Throw up the defenses and prepare for the on slaught.

Even when I know I shouldn't be mad, (most of the time its just sad. And frustrating) but it can still get a rise out of me... No matter how much I wish it wouldn't.

I can feel myself heading that way. I don't necessarily like it, but thats what I do, thats what works. We survive... and thats what matters, right?