Wednesday, June 20, 2007

No-Life crisis.

I think I am in the midst of one.

A no-life crisis? Never heard of one? I cut my hair. I dyed it too. Anything for a bit of change- Yep. No Life crisis. Well, that's what it feels like.

I am a stay at home mom, and can totally understand how some other moms can over schedule, hyper-parent... It's not so much getting their children everything they never had, or even one up-ing the Jones about how little Johnny is doing ALL of THIS, and how Sally is doing all of THAT.

I think the reason the kids are kept so busy is so that the moms can hang out with other ADULTS...even if it is only while you suffer waiting for one class to finish up, so you can rush to the next thing.

Honestly. Stay at home moms (ME) have been known on occasion to frequent grocery stores, Super Wal-mart... etc just for the brief quasi-human contact they are starving for.

"Will that be cash or credit..." is often responded to with a burst of in articulate babble- Oh wow the weather is nice, The kids are all being good right now, and everythings OK-except my friend was sick and the cable went out, but we're really doing great, did you get a hair cut or something, you look different... of Im sorry Debit, I really like what you've done with your hair and STOP IT JJ!! I can't believe all the shoppers here today. Oh, yea..OK. Thanks, I'll talk to you later- sorry to hold up the line!!

Anyway, back to my personal slow rollin' melt down.

I think many moms out there (going from my vast experience of being... ummm... me) Are slowing starving from lack of mental stimulation.

Also, with all the news out there about how moms don't contribute $$ to the family, let alone the knowledge that "Oh, I was a stay at home mom for the majority of the last 13 years..." Don't look too hot on the ole resume if you know what I mean.

So what are we supposed to do when we hit "retirement" age. Haha. Like a MOM ever gets a chance to retire! We haven't "worked" so we get squat from Social Security... any retirement that would be coming in would be from one income-NOT MINE! Sitting on kids all day doesn't present much of a chance for further educational opportunities...Oh, and IF there were classes available... it would be DOUBLE the cost of tuition. Tuition, books, AND daycare. So as much as it would suck to work all day just to turn around and hand your paycheck over to someone else... who gets to spend their time with your kids, see their milestones, play with them- all the good stuff-...Going back to school- you still have to pay $$ to be kept away from your children AND get the added bonus of homework.

I was thinking about that. IF I want to get my nursing degree (and had the classes available LOCALLY!!) I could do it in about 3 years. While I am still "young enough" to have a chance to build up a nest egg for those later years. So I don't have to eat cat food.

Where I am now, and life as it is... by the time I get in, get out and and job worthy, I'll be too damn old to find a job.

McD's hires seniors right? I DO know how to wipe off a table...Maybe I am not out of luck after all!!

But alas... here I sit. No school, no job, squawking children bickering because its the 4th day of summer vacation and they are BOOOOOORRRRRRRREDDDDD! I sit here and ponder the future... and can only go about as far as to what we are having for dinner, and if everyone has clean underwear.

(Chow Mein and YES, we do.)

I really don't have the time or the energy to worry, just taking each crisis as it comes and all. Because I am a mom. I am supposed to be here and fix everything for everyone else. Mom time comes after everyone else is taken care of. But then what? It just scared me all of a sudden to wonder what will happen "someday."

Someday the house will be clean.

Someday the kids will be gone.

Someday I will wonder what the hell I was thinking, and wonder what I am supposed to do now.

I think I have a solution. There could be a telethon for moms. Blues Clues for Motherly Sanity and Retirement Assistance, or something of the sort. Honestly, I spend more time conversing with Dora, Boots, and Steve (from Blues Clues)than I do anyone over the age of 18. At least she asks questions and waits for a response instead of moving on to help the next one in line.

So I think that maybe I am in the middle of this No-Life crisis. Everything seems to be a big Catch 22. You can't get there from here.

I don't know who I am. (Other than just The Mom.) I don't have a job. (But I do have a lot of work.) I always wondered what I would be when I grew up, but now I think I know.


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