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Beep- Beep- BEEEEP. We're sorry. The life you have selected is not compatible with "The real world" as the rest of us know it. We have things set up for families of 2 parents and 2-3 children. Motels accept 3 children, per room- with an adult present. There are limits on the amount of children companies think 1 adult can supervise. THESE DON'T INCLUDE YOU. Neener neener. Please feel free to continue to beat your head against wall, and thanks for calling. Have a nice day!! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

Do people "out there" think it's easy to have a herd of monkees? Do they think that we have so many other opportunities that we should be pointed at, discussed, and pretty much hosed over at every available turn?

Take for instance, my yesterday.

We went and bought a 15 passenger people moving van. BIG VAN. Nobody does this for the usual reasons one would go buy a new car. It's not fancy, not fast, sexy, exciting...it MOVES huge amounts of people from one place to another. I have 7 kids...and 2 (more) grown up type people to shuttle around. Daily. Sometimes we actually like to go to the same places, AT THE SAME TIME. In the same car would be a nice idea, don't cha think? Well, I did. Silly me.

So my dad helped me find one- Thanks Dad!! And it was local, not tore up, somewhat newer than the Beast, and would fit all the monkees and groceries too. Wow- Happy lady. For a minute- I forgot my place in the universe where I am supposed to be humble and unobtrusive while I raise my children in peace and relative weird-ness that comes from having a Herd rather than just a brother. Or just a sister.

So I got my Purdy van on Saturday. The insurance guy was closed on the weekend, but I had no worries. He is the same guy that saved my hiney from a pre-dawn deer incident on the New Mexico border- but that is another story. Grab a coffee- I'll tell you about that one later.

Any who- Monday, they were closed for the holiday (Betcha didn't know my dad had such an important birthday, did you???) Tuesday was my crazy school day, so Wednesday morning I drove over, all smug in my people moving prowess... kids strapped in, van still shiny and with the new car smell...

And was told it was un-insurable. "Maybe you could tell the dealer you can't insure it, and see if he'll take it back for ...ummm... well, something smaller doesn't work- does it?! Maybe you could get commercial coverage, or just carpool."

UUUUGHGHGHGHGHGGHHHHHHH!!

So not only am I pressed into the finger pointing lime light AGAIN.... "Hey ma did ya see the size of that thar van!!" now, I CAN'T have said van...because its too big. I wondered, briefly, if I should have just bought a short bus instead.

Deep breath. Crap.

Finally got some coverage, the agent happened to be the wife of an old friend. Small town life strikes again... but she was uber helpful, and we're all set. I never thought about the kids being a commercial venture, but hey- what ever gets your vehicle covered. So watch out. It's big. It's red. You can see us coming...Yes. Big Van, lots of kids. And they are mine. All of 'em. I have had 14 years of diapers people... You know I am on the edge. Don't make things MORE difficult for me!!